Thomas Merton

 #1 - "Let us come alive to the splendor that is all around us and see the beauty in ordinary things. For nothing has ever been said about God, that hasn't already been said better by the wind

 in the pine trees." 

Thomas Merton

#2 - Today I went with my coordinator to meet a new family I will be working with. Usually these meetings are a little uneasy, someone is letting strangers come into their home and explain a program that may or may not work for them. Everyone is a bit on guard.  Today's mom however was so open and talkative and something that usually takes about 20 minutes took 45. I almost cried as she shared her experience.  And was it a coincidence she had a throw pillow that said something like, "Gratitude is what makes what you have enough"?

#3 - She spoke to us in English, but the primary language of the household is Spanish, so when I texted her to confirm our first visit tomorrow I did it in Spanish, and that is how she replied.

#4 - Earlier today I was listening to "A Reminder" by Trevor Hall on repeat.  This evening it was "Watching the Whole Sky Change" Lockeland Strings featuring Maya de Vitry

#5 - "I believe the desire to please you, does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing." 

Thomas Merton

Thomas Merton excerpts from - Thomas Merton - Selected Teachings for Meditations - Christian Mysticism

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2zWgTX_9L4&t=1081s 

Nighthawk, Whole Milk

 #1 - You know how maybe you have this one thought or worry that you forget for weeks at a time, but then keeps you up in the middle of the night?  Mine - the one that I think is "real" - is dealing with my aunt's house someday.  (She doesn't have children.)  There are a long list of reasons that I will not go into here why this concerns me, but to say the least it is a decrepit piece of property.

I had the thought quite a while ago to consult the Realtor who helped me find my condo, and who is now a friend, for her thoughts on this, before it is a more imminent issue.  Usually Realtors are busy in the spring, so I just asked her today if I could take her to lunch and pick her brain about this.

We are meeting next week.

#2 - "Nighthawk" that is the word The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows by John Koenig uses to describe the thought like above, which you forget for weeks, but then strikes you late at night.

This book is delightful and full of new words for emotions. For example, "nodus tollens: the feeling that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore."

#3 - I returned home from being away for the summer late last week. One of my jobs I started immediately, but it is a slow start up. The second I gave myself a 2 week buffer.

I am so glad about that, I've had the time to address things that keep popping up- making a phone call which involved hold for a while about a couple confusing financial things, talking to the property manager about the bathroom fans (which are central) which still aren't working...

 None of the things I've needed to address have been any sort of emergency, they just take time.

#4 - I bought this 4L Seeker water storage thing for camping a couple years ago.  However from the start it gave my water a funny taste.  I tried a couple things suggested online.  Eventually the company sent me a new one along with some other things to try.  One was to fill it with milk for 24 hours in the fridge and then wash it out.  I wrote back, "Whole milk? Skim?  Any preference?  I'll try it."

That was last March.  Today I finally just bought a gallon of whole milk and am giving it a try.

#5 - I did not look in the mirror much this summer. There was a small medicine cabinet sized mirror in my room that I saw my face in every day, but that's it. I've been surprised at how much more I am seeing myself now. I felt more confident in my skin without the mirrors.

I thought about this in a yoga class last week and again today in a barre class. I am overall happy with and grateful for my body

and

I'm not sure all the mirrors are helpful.

How Friendships are Formed

(Can you spot the school bus making its way from Lake Chelan to Holden Village?)

#1 - Last night my supervisor and I went out to look at the stars. She was my supervisor last summer too, though I guess last summer she was my supervisor's supervisor. Anyway, I have always greatly appreciated and respected her. She has made it clear the feeling is mutual, however I never felt really connected to her until last night.

I wonder about what it takes to bridge the distance between pleasant feelings and friendship?  

She, myself and another co-worker planned to look at the stars 3 nights ago, but they both ended up asking to postpone it to the following day.  So on Monday we were going to go but my supervisor had a headache so the other person and I just went.  Then yesterday my supervisor asked again about going out.  I wasn't that excited just because it means I will be up late again and I only had 3 more nights here.  

We did go last night and this morning is one of the rare, (only?) mornings here that I have felt a little groggy. It makes me think how life can be neat and orderly when one is alone, but it is messier when we are connected to others, and often that messiness is worth it.

In this case it was definitely worth it. What is it about laying on one's back and gazing at the night sky that leads to beautiful meaningful conversations?

(Last week I was hiking in pants and it is so dusty here that when I took off my boots and socks there was a dust line all the way up to my thighs.

Luckily I was also camping within 50 feet of this swimming area.  This is not my tent but mine was very close.)

#2 - One of my "areas for growth" is flexibility with plans. We each do 1 dish team a week here and the dish team schedule comes out after the deadline to submit my programming schedule.  So the first couple weeks here I had scheduled a hike during my dish team, so I had to find someone to switch with.

After that I started leaving Wed morning open and the rest of the summer this has worked out until this week.  I camped Thursday and Friday night and when I got back on Saturday I saw that I was on the dish team for Sunday breakfast instead of Wednesday.  Yikes! It was the next day and I was also on the schedule to lead a hike during that time.

However, unlike usual, I had a miraculous thought in the midst of this, "Maybe this will be better?" 

I found a sub. And it was.

#3 - So I didn't have dish team this morning so I could do the Wed AM yoga for the first time, also needed because my neck has been a bit wonky since one of the camping nights.

#4+ - Actually when my supervisor and I went out last night, at first I thought we were just going to watch the lightning, which began around 8:15pm - rainless. Rainless lightning in dry country brings...

FOREST FIRES

and this morning the air smelled a bit smoky and lo and behold a new fire is about 4 miles away.  However there are many gratitudes about this such as:

A. The fire is to the NW so not between us and our road/lake exit.

B. Yesterday an unexpected fire crew landed near here.  They had left a bunch of equipment based on the fire just south of us (which has really died down). They were here to retrieve/inventory. So they are already monitoring the situation and a helicopter has been overhead this AM dropping water and I think one just landed at our landing pad too.

C. Our numbers are the lowest they have been all summer, so if an evacuation were needed, it is a lot easier to evacuate 130 people than 300.

D. I am leaving on Friday anyway, so guess who is packing regardless?

Today is my last day of working here and an unexpected task was to walk out to the trailhead and post the sign advising awareness of the nearby fire activity.  (We have to wait for the forest service to make any official decisions on trail closures.)

P.S. Our Level 1 (lowest level) evacuation status that was in place from early July until last Thursday, has now been renewed.

P.P.S. Ok it is a little scary as I just read it is 2 miles away and there isn't a big rocky mountain between us.

The Hike I Really Wanted (didn't do last year)

 

Fly

#1 - We rarely have dessert with meals here (you can buy ice cream at a separate building), so tonight it was a special treat to have both a delicious orange poke cake and cherries!

#2 - How spending a bit of time in the creek cools down your body temperature in a way that lasts for a while afterwards, and having a fellow staff member who enthusiastically said, "Yes!" when I asked if she'd walk a mile down to the spot where it's deep enough to briefly swim.

#3 - I don't know if I made the "right" decision to skip my camping trip tonight/tomorrow night.  First it looked the hottest it has been this summer.  Then I thought with the 40% thunderstorms for tomorrow night, maybe I could just camp 1 night.  But then there is a "red flag" warning until 9pm for potential fire conditions etc.  So far, it looks like it would have been fine to go today, but even if I made the "wrong" decision, I'm glad these types of "wrong" decisions really do not matter.

#4 - I requested an "out" (basically vacation) day for the above.  So now I have 3 days off in a row, which on one hand I kind of wasted, but on the other hand I wouldn't have taken a day off beyond my weekends otherwise.

#5 - These photos are the result of me sitting outside for a brief amount of time this afternoon and swatting the flies that landed on me.  I am very grateful to have indoor spaces to go when I can't take it anymore (like at dinner today, even though I usually eat outside). I am watching some people walk by my window as I write this and slap the air around their heads.

 

Lake Chelan

#1 - Today I started at 6:45AM leading a Morning Walk with Gentle Stretching class, a 2 mile round trip with a stretching break in the middle.  The class was "full" and I had to turn a couple people away because it was on a forest service trail that limits group sizes to 12.

#2 - Later in the morning one of the directors contacted me to put up some signage about a trail closure, so I did that walk again.  4 miles of beautiful walking during my "work day."

#3 - Then a thru hiker came by and asked if there was a food box like is used on the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail).  He said he's been eating more than he planned.  I said, "No, but..." and then I got this random vacuum sealed package that said, "red beans" on it that has sat in my office and I didn't know what to do with, "I have this."

"Great!" he, "I will add this to my food tonight!"

#4 - My 4th gratitude is for the U.S. Government.  

Yes at this precise moment I'm feeling incredibly grateful for the government.

Last summer, when I arrived at this retreat center there was a fire burning across the lake in the top photo.  I thought we should evacuate immediately, because the only ways out of this village are:

A. That road down to a ferry

B. A long ass hike

C. A helicopter 

By the time I left the end of the summer the fire had only reached the top of this lake and was never anywhere near a threat to us, how ridiculous it would have been to follow my advice and evacuate the village.

So this summer when a lightning strike fire started 10 miles south, 2 days after my arrival, I reserved judgement.

Since we are the closest inhabitants to the fire, after a few weeks of spread a reconnaissance fire crew arrived by helicopter to access our situation.  And after that a bunch of hot shots to clear brush and trees around the village. This is why I had to post a trail closed sign today.

I feel so grateful and so safe with them here.

They are not here to fight the current fire in any way, but rather to make the village safer to protect now and in the future. And they are doing hard work. 

In fact it is the 10 year anniversary of when a fire last swept thru this valley. The current fire chief (?) here is the one that directed the back burn etc. that saved the village (after the people were evacuated).

When I mentioned this to my supervisor today, who grew up in this area and is more familiar and comfortable with fire, she said, "Who knows what would happen if this were next year though," because the state department/forest service budget is slashed.

#5 - Finally I almost deleted this photo from my camping trip last week, because after I took it I immediately saw it was too dark and took another.  This is the first time I opened it up on a computer and the energy I get from myself in it is the same energy I get from myself when standing next to someone I love.

I have practiced a love for trees and nature for a long time, and looking at this I feel it.  So much so that it eliminated (for now) my frustration that Microsoft wouldn't let me into my email today and said to try on a different device or network.  I have used this device and network multiple times since arriving here so that made zero sense and was frustrating...but look at this.

 

Snippets of My Day

#1 – I read Wendell Berry's Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front during my Monday 6:30 am Copper Falls Poetry Hike. I said after how that poem has been an important one for me for over 20 years and that his line, “Be joyful though you have considered all the facts,” was one I especially needed to hear in my 20's. A woman on the hike asked for the author and name of the poem again because her son is really pessimistic about the world and she wanted to share it with him.

#2 – I have a lot of flexibility in my position at this retreat center, and so I was able to rearrange my class times last week before I submitted my schedule so I could attend the faculty yoga session from 9-10 am. The instructor was here last year and someone I knew I enjoyed. She said there are so many people now who are teaching asana (physical postures), that she now focuses on the philosophy and other aspects along with it.

This I love. We did a little singing/chanting, some postures and then she talked about the wider yoga philosophy.

#3 – I cheered on a few staff after they returned from a multi-night hike. They said they were just talking about me and that the hiker sign out board wasn't kept up the first summer they were here.

#4 – In the afternoon I taught my “Meditative Doodling” class. At the end when I asked people how they felt, a woman shared she was trying to watercolor earlier that day and had been frustrated by not being able to create what she had in mind. She said this on the other hand was freeing.

#5 – I'm leading a Sitting and Walking Meditation class tomorrow morning. The location where we are to meet got put on the schedule incorrectly. This has led me to adjust the class and do something different than I usually do, which I am looking forward to trying.