Two Words - Cory Booker

Puzzle Race

 #1 - I've been waking up and feeling stressed right away recently.  It was a welcome relief today when a long dream that included the house I grew up in and then the house my dad grew up in (where my aunt still lives) ended with me melting into a hug/embrace of a unknown man.  That is when the dream ended. It was a much more pleasant way to awake.

#2 - A friend invited me to participate in a "puzzle race".  It sounded rather stressful, when I do puzzles I think of them as a relaxing activity, but I was willing to try it.

#3 - I really enjoyed it, no one on my team was focused on winning. And though I was quite focused on the puzzle, we also had some conversation. In fact it allowed for both silence and conversation, which I enjoy.

#4  - We were the last to finish. Maybe in part because most teams had 4 people and we had 3. And as we got so close to the end I really didn't want to get kicked out when we were so close to being done. That would have felt very unfulfilling, but we did finish as people were cleaning up the room for the night.

#5 - Mary's husband picked us up and drove us there and back.  Mary and her husband are a little bit older than me and sitting in the back seat it just felt nice to be the passenger and not have to plan or think about anything, not quite like being a kid, but almost.  Maybe also because being in the car with my dad was a place I felt safe. He was always a calm driver.

Right Now

 #1 - Listening to the board meeting on Zoom of the association where I live, sometimes I use this as a time to do cleaning around my place.  Tonight I used it as a motivation to work a little longer today with the meeting as a background. Every time I listen to the meeting, I am grateful there are residents who volunteer their time in this way.  I have no interest!

#2 -  I do not like treadmills - in a pinch while traveling or something - fine.  However otherwise - No! Boring! At the same time I don't jog outside in the winter and I still need some cardio.  Then I found the "Sprint 8" workout. I can get myself to do it is because it is short.  It is 20 minutes and of that I only jog/run 7 minutes.  But it is still a good work out because you sprint 30 seconds and then walk a minute and a half (8 times), plus a warm up and cool down.This winter I've been doing this on Wednesdays. Today I really didn't want to go.  So I decided to work a bit more instead. Then I realized I have a bye for soccer on Sunday. So great, I'll wait until Sunday and do the Sprint 8 work out on Sunday. That was a relief, I returned to working. Then a little while later I was changing clothes to go exercise. Why?  

Habit.

#3 - In the middle of changing clothes I reminded myself, "Hey I decided I don't have to go." But I was already in motion.  

I went.

#4 - I've been listening to Ramit Sethi.  (He's a personal finance guy.)  I like some of the terms he uses such as "conscious spending plan" and "What is your definition of a rich life?"

I love that second question.  "What is your definition of a rich life?"

Some of mine - remembering to say, "Hello" or "Thank you" when I unlock the door to where I live.

Reminding myself, "This is wealth," when I open the refrigerator or walk out of the grocery store.

Today, while on the treadmill, doing this work-out that I almost hate, I had to come up with a distraction to get thru it.  I started, when the 30 second sprints began, mentally going thru my body and thanking it. "Thank you feet that have always carried me where I need to go. Thank you all 10 toes and all 10 toenails.  Thank you bones and cartilage and muscles and skin.  Thank you ankles that have been sprained a couple times, but that have healed enough to let me jog right now..."

#5 - Another habit I've done the last couple years is to make time on the solstices and equinoxes to watch the sunrise and sunset.  I would love to do this more thruout the year. It was easier when I lived somewhere that had windows facing East or West. 

Now my windows only face south, but I have made this habit to at least for 4 days pay attention. Tomorrow is that day and I almost missed it but I looked at my calendar tonight and saw, "Spring Begins." 

And then I looked up the sunrise and sunset times, concerned I was going to be doing a make up home visit during the sunset time, but I should be home just in time to walk to my observation spot.

Snippets of My Day

 #1 - Soccer - one thing I love about playing soccer is that it brings out an assertive energy in me that I don't feel often otherwise.  Yelling for example, I don't yell.  Today I felt that energy and it felt good and my team was playing well together.  (And we had a sub with endless cardio resources.)

Last week in our game I did not feel that way.  We lost 12 to 2 last week, which is discouraging in itself, but the worst part was two of the male opponents kicked the ball like rocket launchers.  You just wanted to get the hell out of the way (thanks to the amazing people who volunteer to be goalie).

#2 - Two of the guys that subbed on my soccer team I hardly know, but they are on my sub list and have played with us on occasion before.  I can whole heartedly add them on my list of "good" men.  And that is a list I will never tire of adding to.

#3 - Before soccer I was motivated to prepared some of the toppings (sweet potato and onions) for the SW grain bowls I'm having for dinner.

#4 - I helped my cousin organize at her new place for 1 hour and the 1 hour made an obvious difference.

#5 - I bought a quick prepared tofu wrap for lunch today when I was grocery shopping yesterday, thinking I'd need a quick meal for lunch today.  However I made a tuna salad sandwich for dinner last night and there was enough to have one for lunch today too.  So now I have my fancy tofu wrap for lunch on the go tomorrow instead of my typical pb&j.

27,400 - Fifteen Years

 It is a special day here on blogspot. 

March 1st, 2010, tired of all the complaints in my head I decided to start an experiment - daily gratitudes.  I committed to 1 month.  

In early January, I realized that 1 month was about to turn into 15 years.

"Should I do something special?" I asked myself. 

 In 2020 in recognition of the 10 year anniversary I signed up for a women's retreat that included the theme of gratitude.  I went on the retreat, however my dad unexpectedly died a couple weeks prior, so the focus was more grief than gratitude.

I wasn't feeling that motivated to do anything this year. Then I looked at my calendar and realized, the yoga and creativity retreat I'd already signed up for was the anniversary weekend.

 So that is where I am right now. However, I took some time before I left to reflect.  The first thing I noticed as I logged on today, is my password contains the name, at one point, I thought I'd give a child.

The second thing I noticed is, after skimming thru my 2010 posts, despite feeling much better about where my life is right now, I recognize that woman.  She sounds the same. 

She sounds like me. 

And then I wondered if it is common for the most beautiful things we do to barely be noticed? 

Do other people feel that the most important things they do are barely noticed?

I imagine parents may feel this way all the time. 

Today, March 1st, if I did my Math right, I will be writing my 27,400 gratitude in my journal.

One of those barely noticeable beautiful things - it's not too often these days that I wish for time to move - to get me out of my current circumstances into a supposed better future moment.  It still happens for sure, but now after the thought pops into my head, my follow up thought usually switches to, "Help me to be here now."

And I think that is the point of a gratitude practice

"Help me to see what I have right here

help me to appreciate what I have right now."

The Head And The Heart - Arrow (Official Music Video)

Song on repeat today

"So if you're falling thru the cracks again 

maybe the fall was by design

 cuz someone's gonna break your heart again 

that's just proof that you're alive

 

 I have this deep deep feeling in my ribs again

 I just keep keep keep moving on 

like the deep deep current of the river bend

 I have to keep keep keep moving on"

Govern

Quick Reminder - one of the best remedies for apathy and dis-empowerment...participation.

Today I went to my state capitol for a lobbying day with the non-profit that I work with. First we met with my state representative, whom I am reminded, is a kind and genuine man.  I've only lived in this district for a couple years, so he is relatively new to me, however I met him when he door knocked with the campaign my friend was running to pass ranked choice voting. I left that brief meeting today reassured he has citizens' best interests at heart and is a sincere public servant.

 Then we met with my state senator, whom I feel a bit more ambivalent about, but it was still good to advocate for our program. (I was not happy with his stance on Israel last year).  Apparently the CEO of where I work lives in my same senate district, so she did most of the talking at that meeting. She announced yesterday that after 32 years at our organization and 20 years as CEO she is retiring at the end of this year. I've never had the chance to interact with her personally, but I overheard her say today, that after the announcement went out yesterday, it was crickets.  I imagine staff were surprised and also didn't want to overwhelm her inbox. Since she said this, after the meeting with the senator I told her how honored I have been to work at an organization where I have such genuine respect for the  leadership. I really mean this, and it reminds me leadership matters. 

 

After the meeting I saw state senator John Marty in the hallway.  "John!" I called.  He was clearly in a hurry, but as he kept walking I called out the name of a retreat center so he could place me. I have long been a John Marty fan.  I supported both of his campaigns for governor.  Then last summer I had the chance to interact with him personally when he was on the teaching staff at the retreat center where I spent the summer on staff. He and I arrived there on the same train. I am so happy he is still a part of our government and my spirit was renewed to see him at the capitol!

 It doesn't take much.  I spent 2 hours at the capitol today, and was reminded - all is not lost. 

All is not lost.

For over 20 years I've wanted to visit Oregon/Portland.  Portland being the only city in the U.S. I can think of that I'm curious to visit (public transit, parks etc.)  It never felt like a trip I wanted to take solo however. After my trip to Michigan 2 summers ago I thought, "Where can I go next year to surround myself with beauty?"

"Oregon," was my instant response. "But that's not a trip I want to take alone," I thought, despite having just had a fabulous 10 days alone. 

 I ended up going to Washington instead.

Well, now it seems I've been nudged/tricked into finally taking matters into my own hands and planning this trip by myself. Today a guide arrived in the mail

 

Lastly, after making a friend, you don't know if they are a friend for a season or more long term. The woman I did most of my hiking with last summer went home to a different city than I, so it may have been a friendship for a season.  However she is in a transition point and likes writing, so we've been meeting online or just over the phone on occasion for writing practice. We write and then we share what we've written. I love how this can steer conversations into a beautiful and deep place and I'm grateful to have someone that, thus far, whenever I send a message, "I need to write this week, do any of these days work?"  

She says, "Yes."