Unknown Status

I've forgone outings this week since my covid status is uncertain.  I took a saliva test Tuesday that came back "inconclusive". Wed night I experienced my first potential symptoms vomiting/digestive issues. I took a home test Thursday - that was negative.  I'm going back for another saliva test tomorrow.  I feel fine now.

 I've had a lot of time at home and some of that has been playing Uno etc with my friend's children.  It's been hard limiting my social support/outings during this sad time, however my friend's kids have been beacons of happiness.

 Today we left the house and walked to the beach, which thankfully was both windy and not busy.  I was able to swim laps without getting close to anybody.  My friend's eldest swam or walked along with me and talked to me some.  This was very helpful to distract me and keep me moving.  I was surprised he hung out with me so long, but I guess I was preferable to his little brother's swarm of friends that arrived soon after us.

Earlier in the AM when we didn't know what to do, I pulled out one of their art books and the youngest and I sat together and followed the instructions to draw a horse, and then later this owl.

I didn't know that I could draw either.  Sometimes boredom/limitation can lead to beauty.

I unfortunately decided not to take Michael's youngest to the horse show this weekend with my uncertain covid status but since I learned I could draw a horse, I made her a card which I will send with the hope we can reschedule.

"There is nothing that harshness does, that loving firmness doesn't do better." Terrance Real

#1 - Two of the four people in the household where I'm staying got Covid in April. However the Covid resistance of 1 who didn't get it then, either waned or because of a different strain tested positive here yesterday.  So far the symptoms are mild. I tested negative today. However, who knows how long that will last, so I'm glad I don't have any big events in the next week, like a move.

#2 - I've been meaning to make dinner for everyone at my friend's this week, but timing/schedule wise it hadn't worked out.  Today my friend and her husband were home/off for Juneteenth.  So it worked out that I made lunch for the kids, and then had enough leftover for them to eat when were ready and were hungry.

#3 - I was going to go swimming this afternoon with my niece and nephew and my friend's kids. However with the Covid diagnosis in the household I ended up just staying home.  This worked out because I've spent much of the day going back and forth on the phone and the computer with my Realtor about an offer.

#4 - And I almost forgot this, but I woke up at 4:45AM in the midst of a romantic dream.  I was so surprised I made sure to write a sentence about it in my journal.

When I was growing up I only remembered my dreams if they were nightmares, so it still surprises me when this is not the case.

#5 - Michael and I have gone 3 weeks without communicating which is an achievement.  It is hard not to communicate with someone you are used to telling everything to, especially when something feels important.  I imagine it would be doubly hard for people who are accustomed to texting each other, as that is so accessible all the time. The last time we spoke we didn't want to stop communicating all together, but also realized we needed some time and space.  I did send him an email today because I planned to take his youngest out for her BD at the end of next week, and I still want to, but I also wanted them to know the current Covid situation here in case we need to push that out further.

 

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The following is something I listened to yesterday.  If I could "achieve" anything in life, this would be what I most aspire to.  Though I'm not sure 1 generation is enough, my mother definitely began this work...

"Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path, until 1 person, in 1 generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames.  That person brings peace to his ancestors, and spares the children that follow." Terrance Real

Terry Real: The Five Traps that Undermine Your Love & One Simple Solution

The Dow is Down

 #1 - I told my therapist on Monday a challenging thing for me is personality-wise, is I keep people in my life.  I tend to keep friend groups together and foster long-term connections.  It isn't my nature to let people that are important to me go.  The example I gave was my best friend in elementary school who has lived in multiple states, has a very different personality and life path than I, but I still see her on occasion.  She just emailed me this AM that she will be in town this weekend so I will probably see her on Sunday.

#2 - For the last 7 years I've gone camping with my niece, a friend and her two kids once a year. Last year my niece requested that we camp for more than 2 nights in the future. It will still only be 2 nights, but it might feel longer because last year we left after school and had a longer drive.  By the time we set up our tent we went straight to bed.  This year they don't have school tomorrow, so we should be at the campground early afternoon.  

Since we are leaving earlier tomorrow I set aside much of today for prep.  However, much of my day got side tracked when I went to look at one condo this AM and decided to make an offer.  It is my 6th offer so I'm pretty flippant about it at this point.  Especially because the last place I made an offer on I loved.  So anything else I'll probably shrug my shoulders at.  It's a good option though, so I got in the offer today and then plan to forget about it over the weekend. 

#3 - I probably didn't offer enough, but I'm not in the mood to stretch too much today and am a bit drained by the whole process.  I keep saying I should take a break but then I keep going.  It's ok though, just knowing I can take a break if I need to takes the pressure off.  I have a place to live right now, and that is enough.

#4 - It's the last day of school for my friend's kids today and it's fun to feel their energy when they got home - a bit happy and free.

#5 - "The Dow is down," friend's kid.

"What does that mean?" friend's kid's friend.

"I don't know, the market?  It says right here." friend's kid

Suffering and Vegetables

#1 - I debated taking my friend's dog with me for a jog.  She arrived home right before I left and was hesitant.  "What are you afraid of?" I asked.

"I've never taken her on a run before."

"Well I jog a lot slower than you." I took her.  She did fine.  It was a good distraction for me.

#2 - My friend came home pretty upset, she didn't want to be unhappy/ungrateful with what I'm going thru, but I said, "It's fine. Not that I want everyone else to be unhappy, but it's still nice to know no matter what people's lives consist of, there are struggles and disappointment and frustrations."

#3 - Her youngest son and I did the Wordle after work, and then I showed him we could make our own (like I've done with my niece).  I was not there pretending to enjoy this.  I did enjoy it.

#4-5 - And I'll end with two videos that had opposite effect on me today.

The first made me cry.

The 2nd (from my friend's kid), made me laugh