Beauty That Awaits

I was taught this simple practice a number of years ago by Elizabeth Harper - the mandala drawing - supposedly a snapshot of the subconscious (or unconscious I get the two mixed up) from Carl Jung.  You take a piece of paper, you make a big circle, and then you doodle for 20 minutes and at the end you give it a title.  This is the mandala I did the night before I received some devastating news in March.  I had no idea anything was about to happen, but it seems my subconscious did. Looking back on this drawing later, I see a bunch of stick figures firing bullets at each other.  The title I gave it was, "Fallen."

A week ago tonight I'd had a pretty awful day.  I'd been furious.  I'd cried.  And I knew I was going to have a hard time sleeping that night.  So the first thing I did when I climbed into bed was doodle a mandala.  In this case, despite these feelings, a peaceful image came out and the title, "The Beauty that Awaits".

 Hmmm, once again.

 And it was right.

I shared this information with a friend on a walk today.  I almost apologized when I left for dominating the conversation.  Really I should have just thanked her for listening.

I made a big sweet potato and black bean salad to share at a picnic I'm having with friends on Saturday.  It isn't really a potluck and I suspect at least one friend will feel bad if I offer food to share and she doesn't have any, so I'm already prepared to email this quote tomorrow,

"When you attach value to giving help, you attach value to needing help.  The danger of tying your self-worth to being a helper is feeling shame when you have to ask for help.  Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help." Brene Brown

Speaking of asking for help, do you remember when I mentioned a couple weeks ago that after years of being urged to at the dentist, I was finally considering getting an electric toothbrush?  Well one magically appeared from a family member who can kind of be like Santa Claus.   I'm hopeful I will stop taking a beating on my gums. Being told I brush too hard just didn't seem to be working.
 

Eagle Huntress

#1 - Need a  little uplift today?  This blog

https://centaurwalking.blogspot.com/

reposted this link -

https://www.positive.news/2017/society/media/26491/went-right-jan-mar-2017/

which made me cry (in a good way)

#2 -  I got on my bike on a beautiful day and arrived at a park where an old friend awaited me, immediately turning my neediness into easiness

#3 - We listened to some nourishing outdoor music by Sarah Morris, "Can't tell if you're lonely or free, looks the same if you're lonely or free"
and "confetti like kindness"

#4-5 - Watching a man and his two daughters snuggle up to watch a movie in the park, The Eagle Huntress, a documentary about a 13 year old girl who breaks into a long standing father and son tradition in Mongolia

Open Swim, Waterski Show, Friends

#1 - I have two friends I've been thinking of contacting but haven't gotten around to.  One is working on some writing and has been sending me installments.  I hadn't received any for a while.  The second has been in Brazil for almost a year and I was curious if he'd come back.

They both emailed me yesterday within an hour of each other.  The first sent the next writing installment and the second sent me some photos from Brazil.

#2 - I'm planning to take my niece to a free waterski show on the Mississippi this week.  We went together two years ago, but missed last year.  I invited a couple friends and their kids to join us.  The one whom I least expected has decided to join us.  Yeah!

#3 - Once a week there is a free open swim across a lake in Minneapolis.  My goal is to complete it once I month.  I did go once in June, July and August, so today will be a bonus swim, the last of its type for me (with the lifeguards across the lake) this year.  The season is winding down.

Last year the sweet man and his kids would usually meet me there which is a fun bonus, but until today that plan hadn't worked out this summer.

#4 - The dental hygienists have been trying to get me to switch to an electric toothbrush for years.  At first I just thought it was a money making thing, plus why use battery power for something unnecessarily?  But I've switched dental clinics and the person who cleaned my teeth said the same thing today, I brush too hard on my gums, an electric toothbrush would really help. 

At the same time I need to make sure to brush better a couple spots.  So for the first time my resistance has weakened and I'll consider it.

#5 - Super yummi fruit time right now!  I had local cantaloupe, local raspberry, semi-local blueberry and CA strawberry with a little lime fruit salad with my lunch today.

Mind/Body/Story

I took a Mind/Body/Story workshop last weekend.  It had three instructors:

Patricia Francisco – a writing teacher.  I took a week long nature writing class with her 10 years ago.  I loved it and was excited to do something with her again.

Matthew Sanford - "a nationally recognized yoga teacher... and a paraplegic for the last thirty seven years."  I have been vaguely familiar with his name for a long time and was interested in checking him out.

Kevin Kling - a storyteller - never heard of him.

To my surprise, it was the one I held the least excitement about (Kevin Kling) that I most enjoyed.  Today I decided to look up his public schedule and found he has a storytelling event at an art park at the end of the month.  It's only $5 and at a place I've only been to once and would love to go again!

Tonight I felt pretty tired, partly from not quite enough sleep this weekend, but also I think because the workshop was about telling your story, and I'm sure that working on and telling mine (or a 5 minute version of mine which takes incredible skill in its brevity) also took a great deal of emotional energy.

 So luckily tonight happens to be the night that restorative yoga is offered at my studio.  For some strange reason during the first pose I couldn't lay still.  My body was restless and kept wanting to move and then I wanted it to stay still which created additional tension and frustration.  It was the opposite of restorative, was it going to be this way for a whole 75 minutes?  Thankfully we did a mindfulness activity next, slowly eating one bite of peach, and after that, during the next pose my body calmed down.

As a support staff person at the studio I was able to pick out a purple t-shirt with image of a beet (or a radish) I'm not sure.

****

Offering my friend a piece of advice on something that her mother said, which she wrote back that she appreciated hearing.

Getting a copy of this photo, from my camping site last month.