Adventure Ahead

#1 - Planning ahead (this I do in general) so I tend to stress out early rather than right before a deadline.  Because I do though, today I was able to work a bit extra (when they really needed it) and also have time to spend with my aunt for an unplanned visit.

#2 - I had one recipe left to make from my previous grocery shopping - falafel - which my aunt enjoyed cooking with me.  She finds the things I make new and interesting.

#3 - We had a super yummi smoothie for dessert.  I've been meaning to make one all week - pineapple, frozen bananas, frozen peaches, yogurt and almond milk.

#4 - My brother asked if I wanted to borrow a GPS watch.  I told him it may be useful but I tend to get frustrated with new technology.  He sent me a link to put the locations I want on a map and then I think he'll do the rest.  We'll see.

#5 - It's been 14 years since I left the country, with the exception of a walk across the border into Canada.  The last time I went I was desperate for a direction in my life and was kind of grasping at straws.  I'd always wanted to spend time in a Spanish speaking country and so that was what I did.  I had a good experience, but it didn't provide any direction or answers and upon my return I entered a phase which was certainly the low point of my adult life.

Now in the beginning of my 40's I go again.  This time for a few weeks instead of a few months.  This time I didn't search it out, it came and found me, and kept nudging.  I continually asked, "Really?"  "Are you sure?" and finally gave in.

 This time I don't know why I'm going, or where it will lead me, if anywhere at all.  But last night I was playing guitar along with a Spanish CD and I connected the two threads and it felt good

and it felt right.

La Crosse

When I met the man I'm dating his youngest was 6 and his eldest had just turned 10.  Today I saw the youngest run off to the playground and thought, "Enjoy her childhood it won't be like this much longer."  She is almost 10 herself now, her sister doesn't run to playgrounds anymore.

We were at the eldest's la crosse game.  I was at that same place two weeks ago - trying to connect with their father there and not having much success. 

One week ago, I went again, wanting to be there because we were in a better place, but afterwards I was angry.  Angry from all the feelings I hold inside.

Tonight we were both open.  On the way back to the car he swatted my behind with the lacrosse stick.  "You're being playful," I said, "That much mean you're feeling safe."

Then I went to the co-op to pick up some mid-week groceries and got a hug from the owner where I do yoga in the produce section.  I usually grocery shop on Sundays and it's nice to be restocked and have some meals planned for the weekend, instead of being at the end of my fresh food.

I spent most of my day listening to Byron Katie videos while I worked.  I think in fact every one I listened to were ones I've heard before.  None of them failed to touch me again - especially the one between mother and son.

Thank You

#1 - I'm grateful that though it is a beautiful day, I wasn't feeling motivated to exercise on my own.  I didn't expect it to work out, but I tried calling a friend this morning whom I annually take a certain long walk with, to see if today might work.  She tried to negotiate it to another day this week, but none of those ended up seeming to work, so she is on her way to meet me now.

#2 - I received three emails in a row today from a certain man in my life and they all felt collaborative in nature.

#3 - One of those was about his daughter's la crosse game this weekend, which will be played in a town an hour away where my cousin lives.  I called my cousin to see if she was available to hang out if I go to the game.  She isn't, but I found out she and her sister will be driving by me next week and we have a tentative tennis matched planned together.

#4 - Being surprised that I had enough ingredients to make a yummi salad for lunch - quick, easy and healthy.  It had lettuce, red pepper, carrot, mushrooms, a hard-boiled egg, canned salmon and salad dressing.

#5 - The quiet space at the end of my lunch break when I wasn't formulating plans and simply bent over, placed my hands upon the earth, and said, "Thank you."

Mud

(My niece's favorite part of our weekend  camping trip.) 

#1 - I got a couple emails today - one from a manager at a former job checking in on me and one from a woman I've never met who reads this.  Both were unexpected gifts.

#2 - After camping this weekend I went grocery shopping on the way home.  Strawberries were on sale and I bought spinach for something else, but I ended up using the spinach for a strawberry and spinach salad.  Fortunately, I had all the other ingredients - pecans, feta and it sounded really good to me.

#3 - Beautiful sunny day to air out my sleeping bags on the clothesline.  The leaves have really burst on the trees.  I learned yesterday that this could be because of the lightning this weekend - something about ions in the air.  I haven't looked it up and I don't recall exactly, but interesting.

#4 - I received a phone call this morning, clarifying something from last night about how I was being controlling.  It is true I was being controlling, I had a specific intention and we were not headed there and I tried to force us back.  I'm sure I could have done this in a more collaborative and connecting way.  Count that as an area for growth.

#5 - A friend asked me about Imago Dialogues - I had told her about them before and she wanted more info. I sent her this google talk - which I listened to again, and still got a great deal out of it.

https://youtu.be/FfbfHtoHqiE