Estimates

Today I think what I felt the best about during my time at my father's was vacuuming and cleaning the laundry room windows, not something that needed to be done now by any means, but it made me feel better, when things look better over there it feels less overwhelming. I also reorganized the mounting pile of things in the living room (waiting for some place to donate them to reopen) so they were more compact.

I started a new strategy last week where I drive over to my dad's to work on sorting etc, then bike home. Then a day or two later I bike back to work a while and drive home. It's a good way to get some exercise and time outside. Today I drove over and biked back using his bike - to try it out. I wasn't really in the mood for a bike ride even though it was a gorgeous day. My partner recently asked me what I thought about willpower. I'm kind of negative on it, it seems to me that using willpower often creates its own opposite force. Yet upon further reflection I am certain of the power of habits, and I suppose habits are built on willpower. Anyway, it's good that biking is a habit for me and that usually once I decide to do something I do it, because though I didn't enjoy my bike ride as much as last week, I'm sure it was good for me. I even started to meander a bit, I didn't go the shortest, most direct route.

As a result of this I went down a block in South Minneapolis where I thought I heard a parade. A parade? Now? I continued to investigate, it wasn't a parade, it was a really cool block of neighbors out on their sidewalks, stoops etc playing music - drums, cowbells etc together! They were just finishing as I rode past. I saw a house for sale on the block so I looked it up when I got home - it is on the pricey side (in fact twice as much as some of its neighbors - so you might want to wait), but it is certainly a cool street - 3941 Harriet Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55409.

When I got home I saw the first flower had emerged outside our side door. I had this quote in my head that I read somewhere recently.

"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." ― Georgia O'Keeffe.

So I decided to sit down and see the flower. At first I was distracted moving rocks that should not have been in the lawn. But eventually I took it in and decided to get my journal to draw it. I knew though drawing can be stressful for me, to try would force me to see it more fully.

It did. I did not have the right colors, the part inside the thin yellow ring was a difficult to describe hue, but I did my best.