To Kill a Mockingbird

 I have been looking forward to today for quite a while.  My former partner's daughters and I were going to the play To Kill a Mockingbird as an Xmas gift.  I was also having them over for brunch beforehand, the first time they'd been to my place.

I woke up with some sneezes Friday and became paranoid it wouldn't happen.  Last summer Co-Vid got in the way of me seeing them a couple times.

It ended up being anti-climatic.  I think it was the scarcity that made it seem such a big deal. Despite my wanting to see them and spend time with them, it is also sad and hard.  It makes me want to talk to their father, because who else would more want to hear about time with his daughters?

They are both playing spring sports and said they'd send me their schedules, so that is a nice way I can hopefully pop into their lives on occasion.

I sent a radon test home with them.  I just tested my condo and was very surprised the levels were high as there are fans running constantly in the bath (that I can't turn off).  I know their dad is still sleeping in the basement until his room is ready and the last time I talked to him I mentioned I was doing a radon test and he hadn't yet.

So there is beauty in all this and sadness too.  It just continues.

I went to soccer after and got hit in the eye.  Not the first time.  Usually the pain goes away quick, but it still hurts a little.  I know I could just take an ibuprofen and maybe I will at bedtime. The body is designed so well to protect.

So today was gifts and sadness/missing.  When I got home I went to my email and had a long message from a friend whom I've recently reconnected with because she's in a relationship that may be ending. So writing back to her became my connection.