Should I Cancel?

#1 - I was trying to figure out if I should cancel a doctor appointment Monday.  I found the doctor in my insurance network but not at that location.  I called earlier this week about it and still didn't have an answer today, so I made some more inquiries.  It was getting a bit frustrating, however finally I talked to the right person and got a resolution.

#2 - Partly because of the aforementioned I got a late start on making lunch for a visiting friend.  However I knew we could just make lunch together and she jumped in to help including washing dishes without being asked.

#3 - It had been 5 years since I'd seen this friend (except on Zoom), which seems weird to write because it didn't feel any different or distance at all. She said something similar about how we (and my other friend that joined us) had the type of friendship that could just pick up on after being apart.

#4 - Usually if I listen to an ASMR video it is right before bed.  However I really felt the need/drawn to one right after dinner.  As usual "Latte ASMR" was the prescription.  After I had a few more computer things and I started sampling other ASMR artists.  Most don't compare to Latte for me.  I do like some of "Gentle Whispering ASMR" especially her hand motions.  I am listening to

ASMR | BOOK STORE 📚 | Lo-Fi Nostalgic Soft Spoken

 

right now but I just paused the video because I want to give it more attention.

 

#5 - One of those computer things I did was sign up for Fall tennis with park and rec.  I'm glad I had the impulse because there was only 1 spot left at the park closest to me.

Birthday

Today I arrived at my niece's birthday and saw an assortment of games and activities that she had planned and was excited to share. I commented to my brother that I was impressed to see her initiative and creativity. 

"Yeah did you see her budget?" my brother asked. "I don't like to spend money so I asked her to create a budget."

It was refreshing to be at a "simple" at home birthday party, that my niece seemed to thoroughly enjoy nonetheless.

It's a full week with my family as I had my niece and nephew over for the first time yesterday.  Then my niece's birthday today, my nephew's tomorrow and I think my cousin is visiting this weekend.  My brother asked about a restaurant gift certificate my sister-in-law gave me 2 birthdays ago, if I'd used it yet.

"Yes actually I went, by myself, on my birthday this year," I replied. "There was someone else there having a birthday party which was funny.  When you gave me that gift a year ago I never expected the following year I'd spend my birthday alone."

My brother said he was going to protest that he'd offered something for my birthday, and then he realized he and his family were all in Japan.

Yeah it was an unexpected turn of events. I really didn't understand why I'd lose my partner and his kids almost the exact same time as my family would go to Japan for an extended stay.  I didn't bemoan it. I didn't complain about it. But I didn't understand the synchronistic timing of it either.

I still don't understand it.

However, there is a seed in there, in that time alone.  I can feel it in there. I don't know what it will look like when it sprouts.

It's like a present I haven't yet unwrapped.

Maybe in the future it will be more clear.

More easy to name.

For now I'll simply say

I know there is a gift somewhere inside.