Birthday

Today I arrived at my niece's birthday and saw an assortment of games and activities that she had planned and was excited to share. I commented to my brother that I was impressed to see her initiative and creativity. 

"Yeah did you see her budget?" my brother asked. "I don't like to spend money so I asked her to create a budget."

It was refreshing to be at a "simple" at home birthday party, that my niece seemed to thoroughly enjoy nonetheless.

It's a full week with my family as I had my niece and nephew over for the first time yesterday.  Then my niece's birthday today, my nephew's tomorrow and I think my cousin is visiting this weekend.  My brother asked about a restaurant gift certificate my sister-in-law gave me 2 birthdays ago, if I'd used it yet.

"Yes actually I went, by myself, on my birthday this year," I replied. "There was someone else there having a birthday party which was funny.  When you gave me that gift a year ago I never expected the following year I'd spend my birthday alone."

My brother said he was going to protest that he'd offered something for my birthday, and then he realized he and his family were all in Japan.

Yeah it was an unexpected turn of events. I really didn't understand why I'd lose my partner and his kids almost the exact same time as my family would go to Japan for an extended stay.  I didn't bemoan it. I didn't complain about it. But I didn't understand the synchronistic timing of it either.

I still don't understand it.

However, there is a seed in there, in that time alone.  I can feel it in there. I don't know what it will look like when it sprouts.

It's like a present I haven't yet unwrapped.

Maybe in the future it will be more clear.

More easy to name.

For now I'll simply say

I know there is a gift somewhere inside.