Skate Fit

I tried writing gratitudes multiple times tonight and just kept getting stuck.  Finally I realized, I think I'm just supposed to tell this story... 

As I pittered around trying to get the momentum to write, I went to http://centaurwalking.blogspot.com/ and read the January 15th post about fear.  And maybe that will be my entryway - it is about how fear limits us.

I was afraid at the end of my last post, to go to a Skate Fit class.

Now this fear had nothing to do with any sort of harm whatsoever to myself, and yet, it was still powerful.

I'm reminded that Jason Mraz has a tattoo that says, "Beginner" on his arm, which he says, gives himself permission to fail. 

So what happened at skating last week?

Well when I arrived there were people skating and I soon realized it must be private lessons as there were 8-10 skaters all paired up with an instructor.  It was approaching the time for my class and I didn't see anybody, so maybe I'd just be going home?  "This was still worth it," I thought., "At least I tried." It was really beautiful to see these adults working on their skating.

Then I saw 1 woman putting on her skates.  "Are you here for the Skate Fit?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I'm a basic skater so I'm not sure what I'm doing."

"We're just here to have fun," she said.

Well, kind of.  She, myself and 1 other skater entered the rink.  There were 2 instructors and they said what we were going to do for warm up, none of which I understood.  So we started skating and almost instantly split up into 2 groups, the other 2 skaters and an instructor and the other instructor with myself.

I explained that I usually only skate once or twice a year and mostly cross-country ski but we still don't have snow.  They (the instructor asked to be called "they/them") said they were glad the lack of snow brought me there and then proceeded to give me basically a private skate lesson.

I don't know if I've ever had a skate lesson, maybe in early elementary school?  If I did I don't remember it.

One thing I've always wanted to do is be able to stop.  I stop by turning until I run out of momentum.  But we worked on stopping, along with lots of other things I've never done.  They clearly LOVED skating and it shone thru their voice, and eyes and was infectious.  They said they loved skating so much they never had a "real" job, which later really bothered me because there is nothing more real than the enthusiasm they conveyed.

About half way thru the class the other instructor came over to switch (thinking my instructor would want a break from me), and she was also helpful.  She held my foot while I was trying to do the stop and told me I was putting too much weight on it (which is why any stopping motion was more of a falling motion).  So I started learning to keep my weight on my other foot.

When I was leaving I heard one of the other class participants talking about a skating competition she was going to compete in, in another state.

Yeah.  Not my level. She was kind enough to say there are usually more people there of various abilities.

The class was a $10 drop in, but there was no one there to pay.  The instructor said I could still pay online when I got home. When I got home I tried to but the class was closed.  So basically I got a free private skate lesson.

 I was so proud of myself I had difficulty calming down to sleep.  The class is late 8:45-9:30pm.

I told myself I was going to go at least 1 more week.  I wanted to tell the instructor that made the comment about them not having a "real" job that there is nothing more real than loving what you do.

If it ended up being (what to me were) "experts" and then mid level skaters and then me, that would probably be my last time.

So last night was week 2.  There were 4 of us (which I guess is still smaller than usual).  Two of them I'd describe as mid-level skaters, the other said she moved to Minnesota last year, so she learned how to skate and loved it.  The instructors ended up splitting up again, 1 with the mid-level skaters and 1 with the recent move and I.  Some things, like stops though, the instructors said we were going to work on and then gave a bunch of examples.  So I just picked the most basic stop to work on, and the others could work on harder things.  

It was really fun!

I've already skated three times this month. (I went on Sunday with my niece/nephew and my friend's kid), which is more than I usually do all winter.  I realized one reason I only skate 1 or 2 times a winter is because I don't know what to do, I just do the same basic skate and it gets boring.

Last week when I came home I felt proud.

Last night when I came home I felt excited.

Both weeks it was bedtime and too late to call someone, and there is no one else here to share my joy . And I was reminded it is good to have someone to come home to when you are scared or sad or hurt to talk to and get a hug

and it is also good to come home to someone to share your excitement.

And it's ok I don't have that right now

and it's also good to remember.

"Fear halts more dreams than failure ever will"

Will Evans Restless Spirit