Great Storm Clouds

 #1 - A few neighborhood families have started taking a walk in the morning before at home school.  Today one of the girls seemed to still be dressed in her flannel onesie with earmuffs on her head.

#2 - I only had a few groceries and the co-op is only a mile away so I biked there.  On the way home I was thinking about how on one street the there is a slight elevation at one intersection, but a couple streets over the slight elevation is a bit north.  I would never pay attention to these things if I were in a car.

#3 - Michael called the city a few weeks ago because he suspects that the shaking that sometimes happens to the house when a big truck rolls by is because of a pothole.  Today the county came to fill the hole.  

#4 - We are in a pretty good place with my dad's house.  There is still more to do, but the quantity of things that I have no idea what to do with is limited.  I am going to bring a big box of that stuff to the Tool Library next week in the hope they will have a use for it, and if not I'll have to figure it out.  But for now, most of the stuff at least has an eventual destination and so I feel ok with spending some time outdoors this weekend.

#5 - Great Storm Clouds - Trevor Hall - thanks Micheal

 Not sure why I can't get this video embedded, but if you could use an encouraging song - 

https://youtu.be/s0hj99x4iWw

great storm clouds

 holding rain

it’s part of nature

to hold a bit of pain

all in all that rain falls

and then we watch

 a new thing grow

Delegation

#1 -  My cousin said a week or so ago she may be available to help at my dad's next week.  I want the help, but often I am figuring out myself what to do with things, so it's hard to delegate. 

We have some old home VCR tapes that supposedly my dad converted to DVD.  I know where the VCR tapes are, but I have never found the DVD. 

So I've waited to get rid of the VCR/DVD player and thought maybe I could figure that out at some point if I had time.  THEN I thought of my cousin and this would be a PERFECT project to delegate. 

 She said today that she will come next week and try and that is a relief!  I will be so grateful if she can figure it out so I can throw away the tapes, get rid of the VCR and continue cleaning out other things while she figures it out.  THANK YOU KRYSTAL!!!

#2 -  My brother is great with using Craigslist - today someone picked up a printer and hopefully some yard waste cans soon.  #3 - Actually they just picked up those cans now.

#4 - My nephew just started kindergarten and apparently he has been throwing a bit of a fit about going when I talked to my brother yesterday.  "Does he get enough sleep?" was my first question.  I've long been surprised by my brother's family and their flexibility with sleep.  Apparently it works fine for my niece, but maybe my nephew is more like me and needs an earlier more consistent bed time.  I said it will take some time and effort to see if it helps, but it is worth a shot.

I don't think one day is enough to judge.  However they did get to bed earlier last night, had a good breakfast and had a better morning.

#5 - Books also helped, my brother suggested my nephew pick out a few books to read outside school before going in.  Great positive incentive!

Eventually Equal Zero

 #1 - My Dad's slide projector I finally pulled out and it worked and I was enjoying it.  Then I'm not sure what happened.  Well I kind of know and I tried to fix that, but then something else was off.  I started getting frustrated, so decided to write my gratitudes.  Will it be enough to switch my attitude?

#2 - It seems if you keep taking things out of a house and not bringing them in, according to math it would have to eventually equal zero right?  That's what I said today as I brought more to the thrift store and tomorrow I'll bring more to metal recycling.  It definitely feels more spacious in the basement at least.

#3 - Signed up for the point of sale inspection which is required before selling my dad's house.

#4 - I started playing guitar last night and continued playing more this AM between things on the computer.  I was playing along with Trevor Hall, a musician my partner introduced me to that I love.

#5 - There have sprung up quite a few tent homeless encampments at various parks this summer.  I received an email for some supplies that are being requested for people staying at them from the outdoor group I belong too.  One of those was a tarp which I need to get rid of from my dad's, so maybe I'll bring it there?  Then another email

"I know our hearts are in the right place, but please consider another viewpoint for helping the homeless. People who work with the homeless would prefer you not make it slightly more comfortable for them to live outdoors, but rather do things to get them to a better place. Instead of donating materials to enable them to encamp outdoors in areas not sustainable for long, please consider volunteering or donating to a homeless shelter.. "

 Which also makes sense to me.  This made me finally do some research on what has been developing all around me.

"What comes next for those living in dozens of encampments in Minneapolis parks?

That’s an open question in the city right now. In June, a number of people who had taken shelter in a former hotel amid unrest following George Floyd’s killing moved to Powderhorn Park, in south Minneapolis, when the shelter closed.

After several days, the city park board voted to let them — and others camping in city parks — stay for the foreseeable future.

Now, the park board estimates some 560 tents are spread across Powderhorn Park alone, leaving many residents and neighbors wondering what the future holds."

https://www.mprnews.org/story/2020/07/09/council-president-bender

 

Blue Mounds State Park

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seminary Housing

#1 - I have an old friend that I learned has been living in town the past few years when I ran into him at a Rumi poetry event.  The event took place at the seminary where he was in school to become a hospice chaplain.  

He's almost done.  And a  few weeks ago as he helped me sort things at my dad's, I learned he was applying for jobs locally as well as Illinois (where he is from) and Washington state.  

I called him Saturday to see if he knew where he was headed at the end of the month.  The good news  was he was offered a job!  The bad news - he needed to be out of his on campus apartment in just over a week and had not found a place to live yet.

I jumped into action bringing him boxes to pack, looking for places online, and wondering if he didn't find a place in a week if he could stay with me or at my dad's.  He'd still have to pack most of his stuff, move it to a storage space, finish his internship, clean his place, look for a place to live and start a new job.  This sounded exhausting to me, so later I called and asked.  "Have you asked if you could extend your stay in the on campus housing?"

"The only reason that let me stay last year was I took a class each semester," he stated (during his internship).  I knew the housing wasn't full though so I said,

"Well it would be so much simpler if you could stay there instead of having to find a storage space or move somewhere you don't like.  It doesn't hurt to ask."

"Thanks for helping me think," he said.  

So I waited with fingers crossed.  I knew the seminary was short funds so hoped he could just extend it a month.  And when I called to check today they said that was no problem!

#2 - I was a little crabby as I haven't exercised the last few days.  I tried to get my partner to join me for motivation.  No go.  So I grudgingly tried to motivate myself.  It wasn't much fun until, MACKLEMORE, popped onto my playlist.  Thank you sir!  That was exactly what I needed.

#3 - My brother got rid of a few big things at my dad's house today - the mattress/box spring on my bed (which I cried about when he said he wanted to do it today, but it's old and has to go), a study cubicle from the work room and maybe more I don't know about.

#4 - I tried to bring a load of things to drop off at the Habitat Restore, but when I got there they were closed for donations on Monday.  I didn't want to leave it all in my car overnight (I don't have a garage to park in) so I asked my partner if he'd help me unload it,  

"Why?" was his response.

That response was so exhausting to me I just left the room.  But then I turned around and did the emotional work of explaining how it can be hurtful when someone asks for assistance for the response to be, "Why?"

#5 - And later, while I was typing this, he has the Chastity Brown Pandora (or something) station playing.  I thought about going in that room and asking him to dance but I didn't.  A few songs later another Chastity Brown song came on and I did ask him.

"How can I refuse?" he said.  "I thought there was something wrong."

The More Time You Spend

I was getting my bike out of the garage for the lifeguard supported across the lake swim when I heard the phone.  My friend asked, "How are you?"

"Well Michael and I are disconnected right now,"

"Tell me about it," she said.  And then after me telling her some unimportant things we had a serious conversation about the struggles she is facing.  I'm not grateful stressors are piling up. However I was grateful to be able to listen and to relate.  I know how that downward spiral goes, anger or hurt about one thing, leads to ignition on many more things.  At the end I told her a little bit more about my frustration and at one point she said, "Well at least you are laughing about it," and I realized yeah, that's true.

At the end she said, "Did you miss your swim?"

"What time is it?"

"10:20AM"

"Nope it goes til 11:30AM."

But by the time I was ready to leave I knew I might miss the swim.  Usually I bike there but it takes me 40 minutes or so to finish the swim so I wasn't sure I would get there in time  so I took the car.  When I got to the lake I didn't do my usual slow entry.  I just went in and started swimming fast, which isn't very fast at all.  Because I'm so slow I usually give myself plenty of time, and today a couple of the lifeguards checked in with me near the end, but I made it - or at least close enough to the end time.

Later this evening I did an hour of phone calls for Ranked Choice Voting which I've meant to get back to.  Most of the time is just dialing and waiting for voicemails to pick up.  But  I did at least talk to a few people.

And a quote of the day -

 "The more time you spend doing nothing, the closer it is when you have to make dinner." Keira

Litany of Complaints

 I was trying to read Glennon Doyle's newest book, Untamed, and she mentioned a time in her life when she didn't know what to do so she spent 10 minutes in her closet each day trying to connect with her knowing.  This made me think, "I should probably do a 10 minute meditation myself right now, because though I am attempting to read this book I am listening to a litany of complaints in my brain."  But then I thought, "I don't want to sit and give my full attention to these complaints." So I resisted for a while but eventually went outside to grab something from the car.  While I was out there I noticed the temp had dropped so I decided to sit there.  I needed nature's help this time, not the enclosed space of my home where the complaints lived.  And I did listen to the litany for a good 9 minutes, but the breeze was gentle and I recalled Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching to take care of your anger - treat it gently and kindly.  So I told my negative emotions I was here to take care of them. Eventually they got the message, calmed down, and I dropped into a quieter place.

 I had started the day disconnected from my partner.  There is a bed at my father's that I want to keep and he doesn't think we need it.  I began with all the practical reasons I think we do.  But ended with the emotional one, which when I told a friend later today made me cry.  With the exception of a dresser, all the furniture here is my partner's.  There isn't much of my father's furniture that I want, but the bed makes sense to me, and so his no feels hurtful.

Then later at my father's house, my brother and I had a communication that felt critical.  I have a friend who was clearing out her parent's house recently and a similar thing happened with her sister.  She'd gotten rid of something her sister wanted.  In my case it's just at a friends so I can easily get it back.  That isn't the issue, it was how we communicated about it.  I am doing my best, but it is impossible to clean out an entire house without making mistakes.  My partner tells me I have too much time on my hands (taking too much time to do this).  And yet if I ask my brother "Do you want this?" about everything, it is exhausting and will take forever. 

I know when I cleared out my mom's place over a decade ago I got rid of these essential oils she had.  In retrospect I would have loved to keep them, but sometimes you just get overwhelmed with things and have to get rid of them.

And then I come home and am crabby/critical because I feel I have to do the same thing here.  My partner said after his divorce his wife took what she wanted and left him with the rest.  And he, quite understandably, at that point in his life didn't have time to go thru it so he just moved it all here.  Since I grew up with a hoarder I find the accumulation of things exhausting and find myself annoyed when my partner comes home with a new purchase, instead of sharing in his enthusiasm.  And Costco (where you often have to buy more than you want) or online orders that require a minimum just drive me over the edge!

I brought a carload of metal from my dad's to the recycling place today.  I had been there once before with wire from my dad's basement.  I was clearly emotionally raw because I began to cry as the man sorted my dad's random metals pieces. It took quite a while and when he was done the man said something like, "Here you go, Ms. Tammy" or "Thank you Ms. Tammy" (they keep your info in the system on an account or something).  Whatever it was - the respect and kindness that came thru that simple sentence felt so nourishing and pure.  I guess mostly because it was so unexpected.

Later, Michael's eldest had a note on this little closet room upstairs.  I had just knocked and told her it was time for dinner and then I saw the note.  Basically it said she didn't want to be disturbed or have dinner she was taking a time out.  "Oh I'm sorry I didn't read this before I knocked," I told her thru the door.

A couple hours later she was making granola bars in the kitchen when I returned from my own time out outside.  "I needed a time out too,"  I told her.

"Where did you go?"

"Just in the yard."