Think Small, Find Gratitudes

 #1 - The immense privilege I have to be able to cancel my driving for the day and enjoy the snowfall without being stressed by it.  After texting with a co-worker who had driven some today, we both came to this conclusion and afterwards I felt peace.

#2 - I am SO glad this unusually dry spring is being abated. I've never heard of fire precaution warnings in the springtime when everything is usually moist, and this snowstorm is helping with that.

#3 - Someone's packages that lives in an adjacent building were dropped off in our building.  I saw this and thought, "I'll bring them over later."  Then I saw someone who doesn't live in our building walking up to the door, so I went out there and she was looking for the packages (but couldn't get in), so I gave them to her.

#4 - As I was thinking of gratitudes, "What else?"  #3 came to mind, which just reminds me how simple it can be to help someone. It didn't take any effort and yet it brightened my day.  It makes me wonder, actually I will ask, "Dear Life, What other simple ways can I brighten my day by assisting someone?"

#5 - I had some fish and asparagus for dinner a little bit ago. I am still hungry.  I will go to my kitchen and find something else to eat.  I have options - grapefruit, yogurt, granola, cookies...

Spring Equinox

#1 - I knew something was up when beyond being tired, I decided I should just wear pajamas today. I took my temperature and my fever at that point was 99.3 F, later 100.3 F, just now 102.9 F. I'm grateful to be in a quiet safe home to experience this. #2 - I also somehow got the gumption (before the fever was so high) to make some "Cold Be Gone Flavor Bomb" soup which I am reheating right now. #3 - I have been sleeping most of the day, alternating with reading American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins which I have to wonder if this is why I'm sick in the first place. The book is very dark. (It's an Oprah book club pick which is why I'm reading it). The last Oprah book I picked was really dark too The Road. I wonder if I need to take a break from reading her suggestions. However then I remember Open House which was absolutely delightful. #4 - I just cued up Latte ASMR Night Nurse Taking Care of You, for when I need it tonight. #5 -I am going to use my wellness leave for the first time at my job, I don't usually get any pay when I'm sick.

From Suffering to Awakening: Embracing Consciousness in Virtual Worlds |...

I keep trying to get this to start at minute 19. Even though I check the box "Start at 18:55" it doesn't seem to work. Anyway 19:00 - 20:30 is the point I want to share. I feel similary but can't quite articulate or understand it.

Soccer etc.

#1 - #2 - I started playing on a 2nd Sunday soccer team today. How did this happen? Last summer I played on a rec women's team. The guy who organized it organizes teams in all these leagues. I don't really understand how he has time/energy for this, as I think he does it all voluntarily. Anyway, now I'm on his email list. He must have sent out something gauging interest in a Sunday pre-outdoor soccer "scramble". I either ignored it or marked "not interested" because I already have a Sunday team.

However some time later there was an email from him pleading for people to sign up. He had reserved facility space based on interest in his poll, but not enough people had followed thru and now he was going to be out a few thousand dollars.

Well, I organize my 1 Sunday team, so I am sympathetic to this so I looked more closely. And the 2nd half the games are at a location only a couple miles from where I live. And I could use more cardio. Ideally not on the same day as my other cardio, but anyway I signed up.

Today is the first day I have 2 games. The first game was at an unfamiliar location. I didn't really pay attention beyond the address, but once I got there I learned it was an ice arena and we were playing on a surface over the ice. This meant a few things: 1. It was a bit chilly 2. The surface was not ideal (pretty hard) 3. There are boards along the edge. I've heard of this but never played soccer with boards.

It ended up being pretty fun. Since the ball rarely goes out of bounds there aren't many breaks. However I was comfortable with the skill level, and since many people I played with preferred D, I ended up in forward some and actually scored a goal! (I think I score a goal about once every 8 years in my regular soccer league).

#3 - My regular soccer game is pretty late, but will at least feel a little earlier to my body as daylight savings time was last night. I am going to try a new strategy tonight though as it can be hard to fall asleep right after a soccer game. When I get home I am going to shower and then lay down for a Latte ASMR video (well headphones I don't watch), because though I might think I don't have time for that, I'm hoping it will help me transition from soccer to relaxation quicker.

#4 - Last week I didn't buy enough groceries. I made a couple new meals from a library cookbook and I didn't have enough leftovers. Today I made a big pot of vegetarian split pea soup and made tempeh reubens with green beans and I have a bunch of leftovers from both.

# 5 - I skipped posting a couple weeks here, one week I forgot and another I just didn't want to be on a screen in the evening. Even Eckhart Tolle has a hard time articulating it, but I agree.  I'm trying to get this to start at minute 19:00 and can't get it to work, maybe if I put it on a separate post.

Good Trouble

 I had a few friends over for lunch today.  Before they left one gave me a card.  Was it a thank you for lunch?  My friend said it was a late birthday card.  I read it quick.  Then I read it again after they left and I was so touched.  It says,

"Tammy, When I saw this card, I thought of you right away - someone who gets outside and enjoys the lakes and parks all year long. I hope you had a good birthday and it's good to see you enjoying your home and life.  Thanks for being a great friend, teammate, letter-writer, poet and encourager to me all these years.  And now to"...(and he named his wife and baby) "too!"

All of it is nourishing to me, however the part that I think touches me most is "encourager".  This is not a friend I would expect to hear that from.  I really don't talk, or see him much at all.

It is also really touching to hear him say "it's good to see you enjoying your home and life."  It makes me think about how it has been a hard road that has brought me here.  And I  have not denied or hidden that. I'm trying. And it is nice to have someone say that shows.

This friend got married two summers ago. 

They had a baby in September, who I met today. We had lunch with another mutual friend and then took a brisk walk.

My friend hasn't played on my soccer team since the baby until 2 weeks ago when he subbed.  We play half field and at this particular location the goals are particularly small.  My friend jumped up to head a ball when our goalie was up field and smashed his head right into the top of the goal.

On a normal field that isn't possible, so it wasn't something he was thinking about.

Anyway, I was glad to hear today that it turned out fine.

And now I'm going to watch the kind of film I like (or at least assume I do)  John Lewis: Good Trouble

"Using interviews and rare archival footage, JOHN LEWIS: GOOD TROUBLE chronicles Lewis' 60-plus years of social activism and legislative action on civil rights, voting rights, gun control, health-care reform and immigration"

Efficiently Written Gratitudes

 #1 - My cousin got the job she wanted/applied for.

#2 - It starts in early March so she is going to move in with me at the end of the month.

#3 - This is perfect timing as I hoped she would wait at least another week and a half.  I am having a radon mitigation system put in my bedroom closet, so I need to empty that closet, and I assume move anything else out of the room that I don't want to clean concrete dust off of.  That is happening in a little over a week.

#4 - Emptying out my spare bedroom closet is making me store my things more efficiently, as well as go thru some papers.

#5 - The empty boxes that I had stored in the top shelves of my closets will be used by my friend during her remodel, including the packing materials I asked if she wanted to use or I should throw away.

I Know You

#1 -  I'm feeling a little stressed and anxious tonight.  It is the same as when I was in college at the beginning of the semester or a big project or...that is when I get stressed and anxious.  The night before the test or the assignment is due, I'm ok, I'm prepared, I'm going to bed on time. I've done what  I can and I let go (though if it is a test of course I still may feel nervous).

So I'm seeing a big "project" of sorts a few months ahead and all the pieces that will need to be put in place/figured out by then.  And though I'm not at the point where there isn't stress or anxiousness, I can at least say, "Hey I know you, you always come about this time.  You are welcome to sit besides me," (this is something Elizabeth Gilbert would say), "but you are not driving. I will handle that."

#2 - Tonight is the first time in 1 1/2 years of living here, that I've been waiting to use the laundry!  There have been a couple times I've walked in the laundry room and the washer was running, but I've just gone back 30 minutes later and been fine.  

Tonight I went in around 5pm and it was in use. I did eventually get my laundry washed, however the last time I checked someone else's clothes were still just sitting in the dryer, and I don't know whose...and I'd like to dry my sheets to get them back on my bed.  However let me say this again

THIS IS  THE FIRST TIME IN 1 1/2 YEARS THIS HAS HAPPENED!

#3 - I started with a new home visiting family this week.  The mom is (thus far) engaged/attentive/not on her phone at all and the kids have a lot of imagination.  We pretended the stuffed unicorn today was having a birthday party and all the animals were having cake.  The kid said it was "broccoli cake"!  Of course I had the animals say, "YUM!" even the tiger who usually only likes meat.

#4 - One of my cousins may come live with me - maybe just for a month or two - maybe longer.  I'm looking forward to the possibility, yet also a little nervous.  We have a really good relationship and I hope it doesn't change that.

#5 - I spent part of the day with another cousin (sister of the aforementioned).  I didn't think I'd have much time with her today, however one of my home visits was cancelled so it worked out well.  And it's a mom who already suggested we'd do a make up visit, which makes things much easier when a visit is missed.