I Would Rather Feel It All

A while back listening to the radio in the car, there was a song I wasn't paying much attention to, and then suddenly I was riveted. I wrote down the group and looked it up to listen. Today I needed that song again, and apparently YouTube knew it because I haven't seen it in my suggested videos for a long time, but there it was.



I was struck again this weekend by the fact that in the same 24 hours both my life and a friend of mine's life shifted drastically. Really what is the likelihood of that?

Sometimes I just can't believe in the randomness of life.

I emailed my friend, he has been writing about his trajectory shift, to tell him I am ready for my next installment if he has one ready. He sent it to me. It is such a gift to have it to read during lunch and dinner today. It reminds me of Glennon's quote -

“When her pain is fresh and new, let her have it. Don't try to take it away. Forgive yourself for not having that power. Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They're sacred. they are part of each person's journey. All we can do is offer relief from this fear: I am all alone. That's the one fear you can alleviate.”

― Glennon Doyle Melton, Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed

Sometimes I just know things - like this upcoming weekend I have a bunch of plans/ideas, but I couldn't solidify them. I can get frustrated by this, even though I've observed again and again when this happens, it is because there is a piece of information or a change of plans that I am not aware of yet.

So I wasn't at all surprised to get an email this AM which will/would change my plans. "I KNEW IT!" without possibly knowing.

How can we, can I be clued in to so many things but miss so many others?

To conclude, and continue on the lack of randomness theme - something I've thought and talked about quite a bit this past year is men and men's groups and men's support. I watched the excellent film "The Mask You Live In" and I have "The Mask of Masculinity : How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives" by Lewis Howes on request from the library. And today I checked Jason Mraz's instagram to see what he's up to and he recently went on a backpacking trip with a men's group.

"Evryman is a community of men who come together to challenge and support one another in their personal growth."