Refocus

I am feeling crabby and frustrated right now, and yet, I have a practice to write daily gratitudes so here I am.

#1 - When my partner said he didn't want to answer because it was feeling controlling when we were talking outside about his job search, because that was true. I was feeling afraid and impatient and that manifests as control, but as long as we can recognize it we can stop it in its tracks, or at least not let it completely take over.

Then I wanted to thank my partner in the kitchen for saying the above, because he was right, so I asked for his full attention. He continued preparing his tea. I asked, "Should I come back later?"

And he said, "No I am listening now," but yet continued to do what he was doing.

I left to come back later. Apparently I ask for his full attention a lot, or what he perceives to be a lot, which I imagine is true.

#2 - And then I got frustrated because I was trying to scan all the documents we need to hopefully get reimbursement for the tow when the car broke down on the beginning of our vacation. I had everything ready but when I tried to attach them it said the file was too big. I easily get frustrated when I am trying to do something that I think "should be simple," especially with technology, and I don't want to get all riled up before bed so I walked away to write this instead and refocus my energy/self. Maybe I'll try again after my gratitude break.

#3 - My cousin sent a couple sweet/beautiful pictures from the dance floor at her sister's wedding.

#4 - When I showed Michael the photos he said, "Is that me?  No wonder nobody is hiring me.  I look so old I'm going to die," which was not the reaction I expected and it made me laugh.

#5 - I did try again after writing these and saved the scans as black and white pdf's at lower dpi and it worked

"There are millionaire achievers that go to Buddhist monks all the time
the reverse never happens...
Why is that?
The highest thing we have,
the number one asset we have is our connection to ourself,
and most of us think it is money,
so we make that the highest vibration but it's not
it's inner peace, it's this moment and you have that available."


Kyle Cease