Thrive

#1 - Watching my partner's daughter's soccer game in my new comfy dress from a friend, under an interesting sky, with some kind grandparents seated next to me.

#2 - Her game time this Saturday switched so it might work out for my niece (who plays soccer too) to come watch with us.

#3 - My partner's youngest asked at dinner, "Where is your favorite place?"  I didn't have a response. 

Her older sister replied, "Where we went to your family for Thanksgiving, it was really pretty there and Canada."

"In the winter time?"  I replied in amazement.

"Yeah," she said.

That was 4 years ago, the first year we met.  We drove 5 hours North to spend Thanksgiving with my family who lives on the border of Canada.  Instead of being annoyed by that, she remembers it as her favorite place???

Her younger sister said, "Florida."

#4 - When I pointed to the plate etc. that the youngest had forgotten to clean up from the table, instead of rolling her eyes or any form of annoyance, she enthusiastically said, "Thank you!" and immediately cleaned it up.

#5 - I marvel at people who can give anonymously, who don't need to be fed by the joy of seeing gratitude in return. I am not that person, I am hungry for gratefulness.  It feeds me.  I suppose it's a pretty good type of fuel.  I suppose as long as we can receive without feeling indebtedness, that giving and receiving can come thru clean.

Despite how often I've spent time alone, and on the outside in life, I still surprise myself by how much I end up connecting people.  But then again I suppose that makes sense.

Anyway, I don't know what I am trying to say except some friends and I sent a little tangible support to an old friend of ours from college who had a tough year and she was really touched by it.  And I'm grateful that a different friend gave her the gift so their connection was strengthened and there is a part of me that wanted to be seen and say, "That was my idea!"  And that part is so embarrassing and so silly and yet it is there.  And I didn't want to write that which is why this gratitude is taking so long to formulate.  I can imagine the author Elizabeth Gilbert suggesting saying something like, "You are welcome to join me on this ride, in this vehicle, but you are not allowed to drive.  You can sit in the backseat and wave your hand when you want attention.  I will acknowledge your need to be seen, but you must stay buckled in your seat belt for our safety and sanity," to that part of oneself.  There are so many needy and unwanted parts of ourselves to love, and maybe that is a part of thriving.

(My cousin sent me these photos a couple weeks back of a mural she came across.  She was touched not only by the beauty, but also that  it also addresses the struggles of life in the rocks/stones. )