Tasks and Energy

 It's interesting how there are the tasks and the energy...what I mean is looking for and at homes and their disclosures etc takes time for sure, but the more difficult part is the energy I think.  Last weekend we had a couple homes we were really excited about and then disappointed by - and that felt draining.  Then we unexpectedly found a home we really liked and made an offer on, but someone else offered more money, 100% cash and no inspection, up and down. I was so tired at the end of last weekend.

Last night we looked at a home and tomorrow we have a few more, but at the moment I'm not invested/that hopeful about any of them, so it takes time still, but less energy.

Today I am going to spend some time with my niece and nephew because I miss them, and they are going to Japan for a couple weeks soon.  I'm very grateful they'll get to see their family there, grandparents etc. because it's been two and a half years. I wonder if the youngest even remembers he has a grandmother and grandfather there.  This feels especially important to me now since he has neither still living here.

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This morning when I shoveled I heard the birds singing their spring songs, Michael had mentioned hearing them yesterday. I love the fresh snow for cross-country skiing, and I don't see too much melting or rain in the near future so I hope to enjoy it, at the same time the spring songs were refreshing.

I'm grateful to do a few errands- bank, donate a monitor etc. and not have anything pressing so this feels rushed.  Then maybe I'll get my niece to make a birthday card with me for Michael's eldest.

Also I'm grateful to have dropped a home off our tour tomorrow.  I debated about it when I first saw it - it had the basics of what we need/want, and it's in a great location, but I dislike the house.  I saw Michael added it to the list, so ok we'll see it, but then I was reading the inspection report and it was getting worse and worse and I said finally, "I hate this house.  Can we please remove this house I hate it?"

"Why do you hate it?" he asked. I hated so much about it I couldn't even begin to state it. 

 Finally I said, "It's basically that rambler in Richfield that I didn't like, but without the remodel. I didn't like the updated version, so I hate this version.  Is that enough of an explanation?"

"Yes."

We took it off.

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And as I searched for a 5th gratitude today I found it from the book I am reading Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown.  She is writing about humiliation on page 148 and mentioned a report about 10 prominent school shooters in the 90's - all of them had had events with peers/school that had profound humiliation.

This reminds me of a story Glennon Doyle tells of an elementary teacher who every Friday would ask her students to list a couple of names of other kids they wanted to sit next to. They may or may not get to sit next to them, but she'd elicit their requests for the new seating chart. 

What this teacher was looking for were kids whose names were never mentioned, kids who may feel excluded or lonely, so she could intervene.

Today's Universal "R" Question

 

Let Your Yes be Yes and Your No Be No

It is Thursday, I have learned that Thursday/Friday means homes are coming on the market.  So tonight we'll go to see three.

The first house - the home looks awesome, priced low, same owners for 30 years and has way more rooms/finished space than we can imagine.  However, I am doubtful Michael and I can get over the location.

The second house is in a great location.  It's 2 bedrooms, but has some extra spaces that could make that work.  The inside looks nice.  The roof and siding look like they could use replacement soon though and there aren't pictures of the garage so it's probably not pretty.  Also the owner chose to waive the disclosure which our Realtor says is normal in a rental or if the home is inherited, but this is marked as a Homestead, so probably a red flag.

The 3rd house is also in a location we like. Our home search is set up to send us listings for 3 bedrooms, 2 bath, and a 2 car garage.  However we know there will likely be compromise so we also have searches that say

2 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage or

3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1 car garage or

2 bedroom, 1 bath, 2 car garage.

The third home we will see today has a 1 car garage.  So that means it should have 3 bedrooms and 2 baths.  

Well here is bath #2

Not exactly what we meant.

Then I read the disclosure and it looked pretty good til I got to the bottom.  The city does a basic energy score and this home scored 28 out of 100.

28

 This is a little hilarious now that I think about it because there is an electric vehicle charging station at the garage but the house has the worst energy score I've seen.

So insulation and furnace updating on top of the bath.

Pick your investment, it's a game we are playing.  The most important thing on this game is staying on the same team.  Last weekend we did pretty well with that.  I hope tonight to continue.

 

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 Let your yes be yes and your no be no.  The maybes are the tricky/stressful ones.  Michael's word of the year a couple years past was Clarity which we certainly need.  Our 2022 words - which we did not discuss before picking are very similar.  Mine is  FOUNDATION.  His is ROOTS. 

I am grateful to have the time today to type this up and process a bit.  Though it can seem home prices are almost unreachable, we are blessed to be able to try.  We are blessed that when we come home to our rental I feel relief.  I think it's Oprah that said, "Your home should rise up to greet you."  I haven't felt that yet, but I have felt the pressure to take something that isn't quite what we want because of scarcity or fear, which is different from taking something that isn't quite what we want because we like it enough to make it work. So I ask for help to differentiate the two.

And I'm grateful that Michael's eldest made dinner too late last night for me to eat it yesterday, but in perfect timing for me to have a quick meal ready before we head out this evening.

Also I just picked up Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart which I will read a little as I eat, to put my energy in a good frame of mind.

Me, Not Quite Me, Willing, Not Willing

We are just beginning home tours - our first few times out have been discouraging.  It is such a seller's market, such few homes, so many buyers, such high prices.

Today I had an experience (looking online) of a home that didn't have a few things that really matter, so I let it go.  Then I went back to looking at it again, should I show Michael? (His listings are more restrictive than mine so this house wouldn't even show up on his list).  I realized something else it is missing, so no.  But then later I went back to it again, I went to Google street view - and yes it did have a back door.  I had never seen a house without a back door and didn't know if that was even allowed, but on the floor plan there was no back (or in this case side) door.  But on Google street view, there the door was.

This house would require multiple compromises.

But this house kept pulling me back.

I liked the rooms.

I loved the light.

I loved the location.

And their pricing strategy might be to price it low to get lots of offers, and

I liked the price.

And it goes on the market  tomorrow which is my dad's birthday, and maybe that is completely a coincidence, but if my dad happened to be nudging, I'm listening Dad, please help!

We asked the Realtor and they aren't doing showings til Friday so we'll see it then.  

I love that the sellers have put so much info online - the full disclosure etc. for anyone to look at.

And there are a couple more promising houses too - one that looks gorgeous, certainly nicer than the house above, but at the top of our price range (homes are going for more than list price) and in a neighborhood I feel less comfortable with.

And there is another in a great location - also at the upper end of our price range that looks beautiful, but I'm not sure if it is beautiful for me. What I mean is it is an old house, but the inside looks a lot like a new house in the suburbs, it looks like a very nice house, but it doesn't feel like me.  Another great location though.

So we'll see all 3 on Friday - sometimes the feeling online is very different than in person - in both positive and negative ways.

Our Realtor mentioned a couple weeks back what happens if you are interested in two houses the same week. I couldn't imagine that happening before with the other houses, but I can picture it now.  You can't make an offer on two at once, and most houses sell the same weekend they go on the market.

It's so crazy, I deliberate on tiny purchases.  

This is quite an experience.

 If you want a house you just have to guess and offer what you can and hope.  It's good for people who like adrenaline.  I have to remind myself that there is something bigger than myself at work here.  Instead of grasping or living in scarcity - asking for guidance, being willing to let go, to wait, to trust.  To ask for help from life

or the tree in the front yard.

I need to remember that

to ask for guidance and help from the trees.

Meals, Homes, Ski

#1 - I'm more of the planner/like to do things ahead of time in our household.  Today I had the thought, "I guess I'm making dinner," because no one else is here or signed up on our white board to do it. This could lead to minor annoyance on my part. But then I remind myself, "No each member of the household will make a meal at some point this week, I'm not responsible for all the meals, just the meals earlier in the week usually."

#2 - We were going to look at a house first thing tomorrow, it went on the market today but there were no openings tonight.  Then I got another notice that a house right by it is going on the market Thursday so we switched them to Thursday so we could do both at once.

#3 - The market is still very much a sellers market with very few houses to choose from, so we debated putting off looking at the first house.  It looks like a great house, but it is neither our preferred style or location, so there is no need for urgency.

#4 -  I did a quick cross-country ski, only a bit over a mile from us first thing this AM.  It isn't my favorite place to ski, however, it is pretty awesome to have an option so close by. As I think about moving, it is a reminder to appreciate that. There was a bit of an intense wind that made me decide to do a short ski, however the early light and some sparse big white fluffy flakes helped me to see the beauty.

#5 - I am hungry and I think the two younger members of our household have arrived so we can eat the Pad Thai I made for dinner.