The Last Neighbors

#1 -  I opened my blinds this AM to the magic of falling snow. I don't know if I've ever seen the trees with so many leaves and snow - beneath the white I could see the reds and yellows.  I do know I've never seen the view of snow at my new home.  And once again I'm infinitely grateful to have ended up in a place with a direct door to experience the outside.

#2 - I've had a lot of silence since moving in - I don't constantly have background noise or anything.  However, I'm only consciously said, "I'm going to sit here for 10 minutes," once since moving in, that was the night when my hallway was flooded and I was waiting for the plumber or the mitigation people.

Today the snow inspired me to, sit, and breathe and be.

#3 - The complex I live in is quite large, however my building itself only has 8 units.  One unit is for sale/empty.  But of the 6 other occupied units, I've met everyone with the exception of one unit.  

Today I saw someone putting notes on a couple cars' windshields in front.  I thought, "Maybe someone is moving in to the empty condo," because when I'd moved in I'd asked for those spaces to be blocked off for moving.  I also thought about how I've, on occasion, put affirmations or quotes on people's windshields.  I thought the guy who was doing it then came into my building, so then I assumed it was the guy upstairs I hadn't met.  Soon the sun beckoned me outside and I curiously peered at the notes on the cars.

To my chagrin they were not notes in the vein I'd expected but rather complaints which included name calling and swearing.  It was anonymous but sarcastically signed "Love Your Neighbors."

I was so shocked I instantly grabbed the notes and came back inside.

The note was pissed that 1 of the units in my building was using 2 of the unassigned spaces next to the building and not using their assigned space at all.  Thus far I've had positive experiences from my neighbors, and now my first interaction with the remaining neighbor was far from that.

It took me a while to calm down. 

After calming, I did a little research and tried to relate. I had to admit that I got annoyed when I first moved in at people using these unassigned spots just like the person who wrote the note.  First of all I don't mind a walk,

second of all it's nice to save places for guests

third of all, it's nice for the spaces next to the building to be open when I actually have a lot of groceries or something to unload.

Furthermore, every unit here has an assigned parking spot and some units have a garage.  But some units have more than 1 vehicle and may or may not have a garage.  I knew I could look up if this unit had a garage because it sold last Dec and was in my comps when I made the offer in the building.  I looked, and they don't have a garage and they seemed to have 2 vehicles

which means they need to use 1 of the unassigned spots.

Ok I could see how that would be annoying. 

 Still anonymous swearing and name calling?  And the 2 men the notes were intended for were elderly.  AND there were other residents in my building not using their assigned spaces and parking in unassigned spots, why didn't they get there notes?

What to do?

I certainly couldn't put the notes back, because then someone would think I placed them there.

If the person who wrote it thinks the neighbor read it, even though they haven't, they might start making up all these future stories based on that...

Should I just knock on their door and confront them about it?

How do I do that in a non-confrontational way?

Then do I become a target?

Thus far I've felt very safe in my building.  Then will I have to lock my door when I go down the hall to the laundry room or worry about my car if I park it outside or...

And then I thought of if it is this hard it is to put myself in potential "harm's way" for such a minor infraction, think of WWII.  

And why is this from the one unit I haven't met yet, this is why it's so important to form a relationship with my neighbors!

I decided if I knocked on the door besides being terrified, I'd probably fumble with what to say.  Maybe I could knock on the door and give them a note or leave a note.  Then I could express myself well and they'd have some time to let defenses down.

I started writing the note and really wished I could ask Michael's advice, someone who acts out angrily sometimes...

and in the middle of my note, he called with an unrelated question, "I'm not in the space to talk now," I said, "I've got a situation with my neighbor," and then I told him about it.  And he helped me finish drafting my note with some good advice.  We agreed I should knock and introduce myself and then give the note, because it's harder to be mean to people in person.

So I finished my note and with a bit of terror I knocked on my neighbor's door.

To my surprised the woman that lived there answered.  I said I'd moved in downstairs and was sorry I hadn't introduced myself yet, she seemed very relaxed and open and maybe knew nothing about it.  Or maybe I was mistaken that the person that lived in that unit left the notes.

Anyway, I finished my little intro and then said, "I think someone up here left a note on the cars out front and I have a note to leave."

And then I left and called Michael back and read the note again and said, "I'm not 100% sure it was them, I mean I think it was them but I want to read you this note again.  If it wasn't them I still didn't say anything hurtful did I?"

Here is my note.

If I was mistaken it seemed ok.

So then I went to make dinner.

Soon after I got a knock at my door.

I opened it and a nervous man stood there, introduced himself and 

APOLOGIZED.  He said he was glad I removed the notes, and they'd had some other issues with those neighbors, but that he knew I had just moved into the building and people here were nice and he was sorry and it was a Friday and...

I said, "I get it, we all lose it sometimes."  And then I said I had looked and seen they didn't have a garage and that I had a friend coming over tonight, but I usually park in my garage and don't use my parking spot so if it would be help if they needed it sometimes or...

And he said, "No no." And he was completely unthreatening and kind and none of the stories I was making up in my head about him.

And when I closed my door I burst into tears.

It could have ended so many other ways.