reincarnation is makin' a comeback

#1596&97 - My brother lending me his car which led to taking a mile or so walk this evening when I dropped it off.

#1598 - reincarnation is makin' a comeback - I laughed when I read the title to this song.

#1599 - "This is the most INTERESTING cover letter I've ever read. Seriously, I mean it. It's beautiful - and I'm not sure many would say cover letters are beautiful to read." -Jill

#1600 - The holiday party for the yoga studio where I now clean 2x/month was postponed because of a snowstorm in Dec. It is because of this that I get to attend as I am now considered part of staff. I often dislike parties, but this one I am actually looking forward to!

Mammy

*Absentmindedly gazing out the bus window this AM - suddenly awakened to the beauty of a grove of oak trees against the sky. (Can it be a grove in a residential neighborhood among houses? I don't know but they took it over.)*

**Holding my friend's 1 1/2 yr old in my lap - I held his hand and used his pointed finger to count in a counting book. After doing this a couple times, he grabbed my finger and mimicked the motion as if teaching me.**

***He calls his mom, "Momma." He calls me,"Mammy" or just "Me." (He doesn't have T's yet.)***

****The woman who moved up to the front of the bus before her stop to have a conversation with the bus driver and see how he was doing.****

*****The job I applied for on Sunday was a really long application. However, I am so grateful for it, because yet again the process bears fruit. As I may have mentioned, it is related to the types of things I used to do, so I was contacting references from my past. I tried to contact more people than I needed because I was not sure how many I would get a hold of. One just responded to my email and this excerpt, "you were (and you've continued to be) an inspiration to me, and I imagine others as well," is definitely my highlight for today. THANK YOU HUXLEY!*****

When No One is Looking

Seeing what had fallen in my bedroom last night. It woke me up, right before I entered sleep. It was a former journal I had propped on a shelf. It said, "Follow Your Dreams."

Playing Goodnight Ladies from Easiest Fingerpicking Guitar for Children - it was not easy

Different Perspectives - what someone else thought ruined a song (a slight note missed and the smile that came with it) was my favorite part

I stood still for a moment before coming in after shoveling. With the fresh snow and the muffled sounds and light, it almost felt I was inside, inside something safe and warm - in my front yard - in January.

To all the People who Do The Work When No One is Looking. I was thinking about this as I reluctantly convinced myself to exercise a little at 8:30pm tonight. Most people who are in shape, do the work when no one is looking. People who have long-time friendships, or marriages for that matter, do the work when no one is looking. People who are saving/investing/donating money instead of visibly spending it, are doing the work when no one is looking. People who can sit still or be in silence, are doing the work when no one was looking. I was connecting to all these people tonight, as I did some exercise, when no one was looking.

New Year's Mochi

My cousin Ashley trying to make a high shrill enough sound to break glass. (I was on the phone with her so I could move it away from my ear and enjoy her persistent experimentation.)

The homemade Mochi my sister-in-law brought from her Japanese New Year's Event.

Realizing that it isn't just practicing less that made my fingers sore quickly on the guitar today. It is because I was cleaning yesterday and today. Soaking in water is not good for guitar callouses.

My friend Fletcher often has a different take on things. When I told him I was slightly concerned about a friend who I had plans to get together with on Thursday, and then didn't hear anything from Fletcher said. "How do you feel about it?" I started answering analytically. He said, "No. How does it feel?"
So I stopped and felt and said, "He feels fine. Maybe busy, but yeah he's fine."

My friend is part of a local support group for the Iraqi Student Project. They are helping support an Iraqi student at a college here both financially and emotionally. I was invited to fund-raiser for the student where I would learn more about the project. I was interested in it, however, did not feel like driving across town. I am grateful that I had nothing else to do so I went anyway. I enjoyed learning from the student and talking with friends there.

Wider Perspective

I am going to attempt to use Wider Perspective as the theme for my five gratitudes today.

First of all, when I missed the bus. On a physical level I know why I missed it. On a bigger level I ask, "Why did I miss the bus?" My level of annoyance was low enough that there was space for a new thought to come through. In the book I am reading, one of the characters states that when he forgets something, as he goes back to get it he stops and listens. The idea being - there was a reason he was asked to stop and go back. I'm not sure I even took the time and space to stop today. But there was enough space inside of me for this thought to come through, to consider someone or something might be asking me to "go back."

Secondly I am applying for this job that is similar to what I did a while back in the past. So I am contacting old references and co-workers. It is beautiful how much happiness this is bringing me, even in instances where I wasn't really close to the person. So I am grateful to this application and grateful for the connections it is rekindling.

So...a woman who I worked with in the past, but wasn't close to, sent me her contact info as a reference. She also included a brief synopsis of what is up in her life. Though it was brief it was not superficial, so I wrote back, "Your email deserves a written response. Can I have your current address for personal use?"

"Tammy, that's so caring of you to want to send a real letter in response to my email. It brought tears to my eyes."

And I'm grateful to know I will do it.

Finally, on Sunday I made plans for tonight, but then I remembered I had a soccer game. I felt a little uncertain today because I emailed and left a phone message with the person I had plans with, but I did not hear back. However, in this situation what can I do? Well, looking at my last blog post there is a quote from Nathan with appropriate instructions, "a long term RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND requires time and a willingness to live in some uncertainty for a while."

Willingness to Live in Some Uncertainty

#1546 - "Yes, I found some jeans, but they are kind of expensive - $7.50" - Me

#1547 - My friend Laura's skill and availability to help with questions I have on my resume. I haven't even read what she wrote yet, but I already know it will be helpful.

#1548 - Trying to track down a couple former supervisors as references. It actually made me really happy to attempt to contact them.

#1549 - Sitting in the living room and feel the light move across my face. It filtered through leaves of my large plant.

#1550 -

"Yes it's exciting to have sparks fly on a first date, but really, how often does that translate into something more substantial? Developing a long term relationship of any kind requires time and a WILLINGNESS TO LIVE IN SOME UNCERTAINTY FOR A WHILE." - Nathan a guy on a friend's online dating site. I was really impressed and told my friend to send him my way.

W-O-T-Y

#1536 - Having a, brief/basic, phone conversation in Spanish

#1537 - For the last five or so years I've had a "Word of the Year." At first they were words I drew during Winter Solstice Rituals. They were not words I would have chosen, but they ended up being really appropriate. Then in 2008, the Winter Solstice Ritual I attended did not involve drawing a word. So I had to come up with a word of the year on my own. It is a little tricky because it is not about choosing a word, it is letting a word choose you. Anyway, I was telling someone about this today and he asked me to think of suggestions or possible words for him. I'm not sure how/if this will work, but I am happy to try.

#1538 - Having a friend that lives 3 miles away, my closest friend in proximity, being available for me to stop by. Sometimes, like tonight, I'd like to just head over to a friend's house to talk for a bit. This is so much easier/more likely when they live nearby.

#1539 - Wearing a sweater that my friend was going to donate. It is a little different style than I would pick, long with a button in the front/center, and I like it.

#1540 - I also sent an email in Spanish, it was very challenging and it tired me out, but I am grateful I didn't give up.