First Snow

#1286 - Being at my Uncle's during the first snow. My Cousin Ashley was Excited about it and kept me Outside much Longer Than I Would Otherwise.

#1287 - Ashley wanted to make a snowperson. I thought there wasn't enough snow, and wouldn't have even tried. Ashley was Persistent and Focused and Completely Proved Me Wrong.

#1288 - My brother and I were arguing about something. Ashley said, "Are you Two Still Talking About That. It Doesn't Matter at All." (She was right.)

#1289 - Being able to Understand Holly's Algebra II Math Homework and Help Her.

#1290 - Watching Krystal Perform on Her High School Dance Team- She just started dancing last year and I was really impressed.

Dream

#1276 - "Report: Global Warming Issue From 2 or 3 Years Ago May Still Be a Problem

...China's undervalued currency, the midterm elections, and gay marriage have since monopolized lawmakers' time. It concludes that the likelihood of any of these matters flooding the entire Eastern Seaboard and leaving the state of Florida completely submerged is "very slim....The document also suggests that taking steps to prevent the earth from becoming completely unlivable should, for the moment, take precedence over tasks that do not do that."

The Onion 11/11/2010

Seriously which news is more accurate?

#1277 - Where I take yoga they sometimes organize volunteer opportunities. I ended up joining one tonight, a Market/Food Shelf. I'm grateful to have been presented and stepped into the opportunity.

#1278 - Reusable Bags - the people at the market were given real incentives to bring reusable bags and nearly everyone had them. They kicked people at the co-ops butt!

#1279 - Overheard conversation between two women/friends about getting together some evening.

"If you want we could do anything.......If you want we could watch TV."

"YEAH TV!" the friend exclaimed.

You know if people want to watch television, fine, but to suggest that it is some creative idea to get excited about? Usually I would find this really annoying, today I thought to myself, "Maybe there is some sort of hidden camera - either advertising how happy TV makes people or to catch my reaction." I just found it amusing.

#1280 - My mother died a few years ago. Mid-October I dreamt I was eating with her at a restaurant. Then I saw a friend from middle school at a table across the restaurant and knew she was to meet me. I went over and we caught up on each others lives. She asked about my mother. I said she was dead, but then realized I'd just been eating with her. My brain was trying to reconcile these two contradictions and working much harder then usual in a dream state.

Two nights ago I had a similar dream. I asked my father, "Where is mom?"

"She is in Portland."

"She's not dead then?"

Once again I am faced with this contradiction and my brain is trying to sort this out.

My interpretation of the first dream was that my mother is dead, but still with me.

After the second one, two nights ago, I thought, "Maybe she is trying to tell me something." I wasn't really sure how to figure anything out though. I thought maybe I'd try a deep relaxation or meditation sometime.

Last night I dreamt of a college friend. When my mother came into my room I woke up. I pretended to still be asleep. She Placed Her Hand on My Heart and I Felt all this Warmth and Healing Energy Pour In. She moved her hands along my arm a little too, but the main spot was the heart. Then I woke up and realized I'd had a dream within a dream, that my mother was not alive to place her hand on my body. However, it felt so real, everything was as it is in my waking life, my bed etc. I've never had a dream like this before and I think the previous two dreams helped me prepare for and be open/aware.

Hey Kids

#1266 - Man in music shop who got excited about a banjo, then said that's the last thing his wife wants to see - him come home with another banjo...

"How many do you have?" I asked.

"In the teens and I play all of them," (and he's been at it over 20 years.)
I admire people who keep their passions alive.

#1267 - Getting an Email from Someone I Rarely Hear From. She Had Recently Written Her Life Philosophy. She sent a few of the quotes and a brief update on her life.

#1268 - "Hey Kids, Don't Try this at Home" - words spoken by an elementary age kid before he flipped/dove over a piece of playground equipment

#1269 - Cleaning up the Kitchen for a Friend so She Could Relax When She Got Home

#1270 - My Sister-in-Law Babysitting with me so it was Easy to Clean-up

No Impact Man

#1256 -

"Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world.
Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves.
All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."
George Bernard Shaw

quote is from

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide
Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

#1257 - Tonight Laura and I went to a church to watch No Impact Man. It is a film about a man and his family living in Manhattan who attempt to have low net environmental impact for a year (and do so in stages.) What I most admired about Colin Beaven "No Impact Man" is that he is trying/experimenting/questioning. Many people had criticisms of what he and his family were doing. It makes me think about how difficult it is to do anything out of the ordinary, anything that isn't considered normal. When someone does we are quick to point out the flaws, to pull them back into the mass in which we all swim. So many spend so much energy criticizing. What if we shifted all that energy and used it for something else? Like what if instead of wondering why Taylor Swift is on the cover of yet another publication I just said, "That's great Taylor. Go for it."

#1258 - Colin Beaven was asking could he leave the planet in better shape, or at least not worse. He was focused environmentally, yet this question can go anywhere - take emotionally and forget a whole life - let's talk about a day.

In a day - Do I leave the people I come across in a better place or worse place after crossing my path? Do the people I live with feel better because they lived with me today? Or the people on the bus - even if I don't interact with them I am oozing my state of mind. That was Elizabeth Gilbert's thing (Eat, Pray, Love) that the people on the subway didn't deserve to be subject to her pain on a daily basis. Though some people called Gilbert selfish for the steps she took, why isn't it selfish to think that your misery doesn't affect anyone else? Not that anyone should feel guilty for feeling miserable, just that it is Not Selfish to Take Steps in Your Life that Lead Toward Genuine Happiness or Contentment.

#1259 - Tonight is one of the nights that I considered not writing this. It is 11:38 according to my body now and I want to go to bed. Yet on my way home I realized tonight is one of the nights I needed to write most. I had something to say. I am so grateful to have an outlet when I do have something to say, even if two people read it. Similarly earlier this week when I was feeling depressed about the election and therefore the future, finally I realized I should channel that energy and start writing a song.

There was a time in my life when I didn't feel I had outlets - when there were all these ideas and concerns and energies twirling about inside and they felt trapped there. I am grateful for their expression.

#1260 - Once I was asked what I most wished for. I forget the wording/context exactly. "Most wished for the planet..."? Anyway, I didn't have time to think, but really fast I saw the answers I thought I would give flash through my mind, "That people would understand/care for the environment so we'd have a future..." or things along this nature. I was completely surprised with what came out of my mouth a couple seconds later. It was something I had never said or thought before and emerged from a deeper truth than I knew existed. And I still hold this truth/wish today. My wish is -

"That people would know
what truly makes them happy
and follow that."

Ticket

#1246 - Buying Tickets to what has been my favorite musical event of the year, 4 of the last 5 years, Brothers Frantzich Thanksgiving Weekend

#1247 - Getting them at the Box Office - no Ticketmaster Fees

#1248 - Paying Cash so my Money goes to the Artists and Theater - (not a credit card company)

#1249 - Speakers broadcasting Opera and then Classical Music at a downtown bus stop

#1250 - "If you don't have a good time. It is really going to be your fault." - bus driver as I exited

Paradox

#1236 - That I chose to start a gratitude blog instead of a rant blog or a "what I'm afraid of blog." Otherwise I would not be forced to focus (here) about positive results from yesterday's election such as Amber Collett is the Hennepin County Soil & Water Supervisor, District 2
and I am still represented in Congress by a man in whom I have Great Trust, Respect and Faith

#1237 - I knew I needed a little Eckhart today. I listened to his "The Current Economy" video since the election was "all about the economy." As usual he Returned me To my Center.

#1238 - That I'm going through old poems and sending a bunch to a friend. I don't know why, just following an impulse. But as I go through them I Still Like them. I Still Feel Them. They still Hold Energy.

#1239 - Being Asked for A Recommended Reading List by a Friend

#1240 - I was going a bit nuts last night trying to find a quote in one of my journals that I wanted to put in a letter. I gave up, but today I found it on the internet. If I had found it last night I would not be posting it here, so maybe someone needs this:

"The paradox of pleasure is that unrestrained pleasure kills itself: in other words, self-restraint is the very first condition of pleasure.

The paradox of intimacy is that distance is the first condition of intimacy: the intimacy in which there is no distance turns very soon either to resentment or even to hatred.

The paradox of sexual pleasure is that all those conditions which create sexual pleasure and happiness lie outside sexuality.

The paradox of self-interest is that the only way of serving one’s self-interest is to serve the interest of the other. In other words, the pleasure and the happiness of the other is an essential condition of one’s own pleasure and happiness."

Chaturvedi Badrinath

Art of Love
Resurgence Issue 212 May/June 2002

Emily's Gratitudes

An Email from My Friend Emily, After She Didn't Show Up for Yoga

Characters
Parents - Emily and Jeff
3 yr old twins - Lauren and Amanda

"I was really looking forward to class and getting to see you so even though I had a rotten night here are my 4 gratitudes plus one from Lauren.

(The back story is that I took Lauren to the doctor last night and she threw up in the car.)

1. Lauren has fluid in her ear causing her some discomfort (and car sickness) but it is NOT infected. (Apparently kids who get ear infections get them all the time and that would not be fun.)

2. Walgreens sells zip up hooded sweatshirts right inside their front door for $8 each when I needed an emergency change of clothes for Lauren.

3. I was able to drop Amanda off at home before taking Lauren to the doctor’s office which meant that Lauren got to sit in Amanda’s CLEAN car seat after she threw up into hers.

4. From Lauren, in the waiting room: “Thank you Mom, I love my new sweatshirt”. This sweet girl is wearing an adult-sized sweatshirt that hangs down to her ankles, with just her shoes and socks. She was truly grateful to be out of the jacket, shirt, and pants that she’d thrown up on.

5. Back at home, while I gave Lauren a bath…Jeff cleaned up the throw up."

I have been studying gratitude daily for eight months. One of the things I've learned is that gratefulness doesn't necessarily have anything to do with things going "right." Emily illustrated this perfectly. She was looking forward to meeting me at a Yoga class and didn't miss it for anything fun, but she still pulled 5 gratitudes out if it. (This seriously made my day Friday.)

Today I am happy to report she gave me permission to share them. So now I have the fun opportunity to Publish Someone Else's Writing!

I'm also grateful for the Mother who Shines through these words.