I was going to write a list of five gratitudes today, but after being outside with my friend in the cold today she asked exasperated, "Why am I HERE?" We were headed back to my place to write, so I decided that would be our first prompt, which led down a surprising path.
Why Am I Here?
I am here because my father died and left enough money to buy this place. I am here because I needed some place to live that wasn't sad. I am here because M and my relationship as we knew it ended. I am here because I was born here. I am here because my parents were born here (in this state). I am here because my grandparents were born here. I am not here because any of my great grandparents were born here – 3 emigrated from Sweden. They were here because people in Sweden were starving and Sweden is somewhat like MN geographically and for a time between genocide and now, our nation was a place that welcomed immigrants – or certain immigrants - or immigrants for certain purposes – such as driving back the original inhabitants.
I am here because it is the greatest concentration of people I love living here. I am here because light shines on this planet in the precise intensity to allow life forms to emerge. I am here because I love this spot where I can turn and glance out the window and see the snow covered trees framing the sky. I am here because sky is expansive the way lungs are when we inhale. I am here because when hail falls down – it appears the sky is falling – however instead it is just ice in a very strange place.
I am here because Earth is a strange place to inhabit somehow despite all its beauty.
I am here because in some cultures beauty is an organizing principal.
I am here because I believe in principals as a signpost for my life.
I am here because quiet spaces nurture and support me – quiet lighting, quiet pens upon the page. I am here because the page is an open palm – awaiting to receive my blessing. I am here because blessing is given when we are born, but not all feel nor receive it.
I am here because oxygen permeates my lungs. I am here because of my lungs and my heart.
