Monday, May 30, 2011


#2376 - A couple quotes from Jason Mraz's blog which he got from someone else's blog

“It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them.”
- Anthony Storr, was an English psychiatrist and author.

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.”
- Anonymous

#2377 - I'm getting into this novel called Driftless by David Rhodes

#2378 - Feeling proud of myself for a phone call I made Saturday.

#2379 - I've mostly laid around resting this weekend with a strong cold. Today I wanted to get outside a little at least so I took my brother's mother-in-law to a nature area for a short walk. If I had felt completely well, I would have gone on a longer run/walk this morning and I'm sure would not have done this. So something missed and something gained.

#2380 - She and I do not share a common language. All our conversations previously have involved a translator. Since we were alone today, we spoke little. When she saw these little cones on a pine tree she said, "Pineapple," and I laughed and understood.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Bonnie Singman

#2361 - These beautiful books from one of my favorite poets - Bonnie Singman arrived.

(My all-time favorite poet is Rumi. One day my friend called me and read a poem. Then he said, "Who is it?"

I guessed, "Rumi."

He said, "No, it's Bonnie." Bonnie also happens to be our friend.)

#2362 - I shared my excitement, and a couple of the poems, with my sister-in-law and her mother.

#2363 - Yesterday I had the impulse that two friends of mine could have lunch. They don't know each other. I have no idea why I had this impulse, but that is not for me to determine. My job is to be open and share it, even if they thought it silly and rejected the idea. I was happy to find out they were open to it. Then today I discovered not only that but they have taken steps to schedule a time. It gives me great joy that they are willing to follow-through on my impulse!

#2364 - I'm not feeling that well today, so I'm glad I don''t have much planned this weekend and can be flexible with what I do (like the day I clean the yoga studio for example.)

#2365 - If anyone found the heading to my last post confusing, it was because I wondered what happened to my only (to my knowledge) person I don't know who reads this. She also has a blog, I often found inspiring, touching and authentic, which disappeared as did her profile. But she answered my "Stephanie???" inquiry with a comment, so she hasn't totally disappeared.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


#2346 - In the Viewpoint/Business section of the May 22nd Star Tribune there is a short article called, "When Commutes Matter." It says that a survey of Coldwell Banker Real Estate agents has found that gas prices have influenced 75% of their client's decisions as to where to live.

#2347 - It also said Edina Realty has a "walk score" on its listings saying how easy it is to walk places!

#2348 - Which brings me to a gratitude from Saturday that got cut, but is in direct relation to this and I'm still grateful for it today.

Someone commented about how gas was down to $3 something.

"I wish it would go up to $4 and stay there." -my friend Liz

(and to top it off she was brave enough to say I could use her name with that quote)

#2349 - "I just don't think my life would be enhanced by another plastic bag." (Thought I observed in my head as I tried to find an appropriate bag to take and reuse at the store.)

#2350 - Photos of beauty on a short walk today.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Cove

#2331 - A little over ten years ago I was on vacation with my family in a place where you could "swim with the dolphins." As a child I had been fascinated by dolphins, so when my Dad offered us a chance, he probably did not expect my, "No."

It was a hard no to be. I felt isolated by it. I could not explain it, or even begin a dialogue to help me figure it out for myself. I just knew it was strong. And I knew no one around me seemed to feel similarly.

Ten plus years later, I watched The Cove and that isolation, turned into connection and a peace with that voice inside.

#2232 - My brother did swim with the dolphins, and he is also is the reason I watched The Cove tonight.

#2233 - All the people who were brave and devoted enough to make this film in the first place.

#2234 - It's interesting how often it's the people who have dramatic turnarounds that have the passion to push for change. In this case, Richard O'Barry trained the dolphins that played Flipper, now lives and works with a different perspective.

#2235 -

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Meet My Baby

#2316 - She's a Pagoda Dogwood and she's a cutie.

#2317 - That friend behind her is an Ash tree, as are much of the mature trees in my neighborhood. The future for that tree is not merry. emerald ash borer (a green beetle native to Asia) is on its way. According to Wikipedia, "Dutch Elm Disease killed only a mere 200 million elm trees while EAB threatens 7.5 billion ash trees in the United States."

It makes me so sad to read. We already took down one ash in our front yard (not because it was infected, but it most likely would be) and once the other comes down, we'll need some shade!

Speaking of which the tag on my little pagoda says,

"Trees planted in urban areas can help reduce heating and cooling costs by 20%" Center for Urban Forest Research

I am not surprised by this at all. This house used to stay pretty cool with the windows closed etc. Since we cut the other ash down last summer (which was the primary tree shading the house) - Forget It!

#2318 - I also planted a Juniper in the backyard. I didn't pick him/her out, but I'm always happy to add more trees. I wonder if I love the deciduous trees more because they are huggable? Or maybe because they change throughout the year and I notice/appreciate them as they change?

#2319 -

I just have to give a shout out to the cranapple tree flowering white in our neighbor's yard which I can see from my window. It is gorgeous right now.

#2320 - I looked up what bird is nesting outside my bedroom window. I believe it is a house wren and it is has a beautiful song.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Soccer Safe

#2301 - The field being soft where I play soccer. I fell, must of been backwards and hit my head. It felt like it shook my brain a little and I thought, "if that had been cement that would have been a problem."

#2302 - My abs, which protected my organs
when a soccer ball was kicked directly into them.

#2303 - Not being injured by a slide tackle.
(Which is illegal in the rec league I play on).

#2304 - After these three things all happened within 20 minutes I wondered if I should quit. I had already played my soccer game and was just subbing for the team who played after us and was short women. If I had ended up getting hurt I would have blamed myself for not listening to these warning signs. However, I left the game injury free.

#2305 -
I wrote a song yesterday. I think it is my most vulnerable/personal. Which if one looked at the lyrics I don't think would be obvious or make sense, but I feel it. I think it was the Martha Beck column in Oprah magazine I read recently...I wish I could remember her wording, but she was asking people to look at gifts in their lives and see how they might have originated from a hardship of some sort. There were examples of people tracking gifts backwards. If I had something "else" to do, a hopping social life for example, yesterday's song would not have come out.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


#2286 – I put my shelves back on the wall today, but when I put the few framed, mostly family, photos up, it didn’t feel right. Then I had the impulse to try my artwork. This felt great and reminds me (because I still don’t believe it) that I have the ability to draw and paint. This is still how I think of my artistic ability -

#2287 – Feeling crabby inside, but then starting to laugh when I told someone I was crabby. Similarly while riding the bus to volunteer thinking, “Why do I do this? It takes so long to get here?” And then walking in and remembering, “I do this because I enjoy it.”

#2288 – The 13 or 14 year old boy who proved me wrong at the food shelf/market where I’ve been volunteering once a month. Last month he was there with his mother and she said he would like to start volunteering. They asked which Thursday each month he’d like to do. (I couldn’t really hear the conversation, but I would hear the volunteer coordinator’s excited reply.) “EVERY thursday!” he said. Then they talked about Saturdays (the market is open every Thursday and Saturday.) “Oh, you want to do Sat. too. Which Saturdays?....EVERY Saturday!”

When I heard this kid was going to start coming every Thursday and Saturday I thought, “That’s not going to happen.”

Well, I came back one month later and…it’s happening.

#2289 – Working at the market next to a 9 year old whom I enjoyed talking to the whole time. As usual I am more social/happy around a child.

#2290 – Blogger being unavailable Thursday eve so I could wait for permission to use this email from a friend in my gratitudes.

"’it is either true or untrue that I will be in a relationship. It is either true or untrue that a woman and I are now approaching one another.’ In other words, why worry? Why fantasize? It is either true or untrue that God is working with, or against, my wishes to have a girlfriend. It seems to me now that God is the most important thing.”

Monday, May 9, 2011


#2271 - I have never had a new computer before so I'm not familiar with how everything gets started. Today I got the printer installed, disabled the security system that came with it(which figuring out making me crabby, but I did it), put in a different security software, ran a full scan, figured out the basic functions (I think) and put one of my pictures on the desktop (this was my crowning touch). I do not enjoy figuring things out on a computer. However sometimes it is nice to do things I don't have a natural affinity to and learn something in the process.

#2272 - Having a job that requires this. I always think things in my life happen for more than one reason or bigger reasons. So I really don't think this computer is about my part-time job at all, I think I'm "supposed to" have a computer (not on loan or a back-up for parts for a family member) for whatever reason, and this is one of the ways it would happen.

#2273 - I watched the eagle nest video online, which I haven't watched since the first time when they were in eggs, and I didn't wait at all for the video to load.

#2274 - While I was getting cranky about figuring out computer things, the owner of the Yoga Studio where I clean called about going out to eat today. I guess she has the staff meet once a year in groups of 4-5. I've actually thought for a few years about getting together for a meal with her. I wanted to hear the story of how she started that studio.

#2275 - During the meal she went over a bunch of staff stuff (not really applicable to me, but still informative) she also briefly told about how the studio started. Afterwards I explained I had wanted to have a meal with her for a couple years and hear the story of how the studio got started. She said, "I wasn't planning on talking about that. It just came out." :)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Guitar Anniversary

#2256 - A friend, enthusiastically, going to look at frames for glasses with me.

#2257 - Being in a quiet enough space to read a few Pablo Neruda poems this morning (which I'm on my final renewal from the library, but have hardly touched.)

#2258 - I started playing guitar last May while house/cat sitting at friends' with guitars. They asked me to come back for my one year anniversary (well actually because they were going on a retreat).

#2259 - I rarely take a nap, and if I do it is light and short. When I got to my friends' today though I didn't do any of the things I thought I might - bike, run, play guitar, I fell asleep. I fell asleep HARD, the kind I tried to shake myself awake from and I just couldn't: a little eerie, disconcerting and an hour later still disorienting. What it makes me realize though is how restful my sleep usually is.

#2260 - From the introduction to Good Poems for Hard Times selected and introduced by Garrison Keillor

"People complain about the obscurity of poetry,
especially if they're assigned to write about it,
but actually poetry is rather straightforward
compared to ordinary conversation with people you don't know well,
which tends to be jumpy repartee...firmly repressed, locked up in irony, steadfastly refusing to share genuine experience-
think of conversation at office parties...
rarely in ordinary conversation
do people speak from the heart and mean what they say
How often in the past week did anyone offer you something from the heart?
It's there in poetry

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Divine Divination

*Father (I assume) and two sons rollarblading with their dog. And a mother and pre-teen riding a tandem bike together.

*Extending my long walk home and how quiet content I felt through it.

*Having tools to help me better understand a situation. (Divination of sorts - if I am usig that word correctly?)