I've done a lot of tent camping in my life, but almost always with a car nearby. One of the exceptions to this was my sophomore year of college when I took a weekend trip with the outdoors club to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. We canoed and portaged in for three nights in late May. Ever since I wanted to return, but my camping skills are not up to par. I find it extremely stressful to pack everything you
need as minimally as possible. Plus I prepare food beforehand, stick in it a cooler etc.
So when I thought of desirable attributes of a partner, this one topped my list. It certainly wasn't required, but meeting someone with deeper outdoors skills than I would be a serious bonus.
Hence 2015, when I took my second BWCA trip, it had been nearly 20 years. I met that man five months prior and he and his two daughters and I took an easy, three night trip in the BWCA. It was wonderful. Though I definitely held him back some and tired out before he did.
The following summer we took my 3rd BWCA trip. This did not go so well. Our relationship had entered rocky shores that summer and by the time we made our reservation the routes I was comfortable with were taken, so he ended up making a reservation on a big lake I was
not comfortable with. I also started having panic attacks that summer and on the first night in the BWCA the wind blew (like a storm was coming), the storm never arrived but suddenly my fight or flight system was in overdrive. I kept needing to get out of the tent because I felt claustrophic and also pee continually - more than seemed possible, I guess from fear. I knew I would be fine in the morning, the five previous panic attacks I'd had in my life lasted minutes - less than an hour. However, the next morning I felt the same, and most of the day. I was exhausted, had difficulty forcing myself to eat, and I could not enjoy the beauty we were surrounded by. Although after dinner I finally felt myself again, we decided to leave early.
On the way out, that gigantic lake that I was scared of had immense waves and was a precarious crossing to say the least.
So the following summer, 2017, I was not going to the BWCA, I was trying to simply reestablish a comfortable relationship between myself and camping.
2018 I once again skipped the trip. I debated about it and thought I'd be sad, but when the time arrived I knew it had been the right decision. I also took another big trip that year (Spain) so it wasn't much of a sacrifice.
This summer 2019, after a three year break the four of us were back on track again. Out of over 50 entry points, my partner happened to select the same one I'd done in college. Usually I'd want to try something new, but in this case it was incredibly reassuring. I'd been fine there in college, I knew it was doable and I knew the lakes were not huge.
My one complaint about BWCA trips is it seems like the preparations consume the entire summer. I suggested we do as much prep in the winter as possible and Michael agreed, however, then he got laid off and priorities shifted. So we were back to preparing as much as possible on weekends etc this summer. We got the food done as much as possible ahead of time. Then it was having the growing children try on their clothes/shoes, buying what was now too small, testing raingear, putting bug and tick repellent on clothing, making sure the gas stove, first aid kid etc everything was supplied.
On Wed AM we packed up the car. The first photo is the youngest bringing all 4 pfd's out to the car at once, layered with creativity.
The second photo shows the hitch we borrowed from a friend to hold our food. Usually we have a storage we can stick on the roof, but unlike our previous trip when the kids were small enough that we could all fit in one canoe (them sharing the middle seat). This year we'd be bringing Michael's solo canoe and also renting a canoe once we got up there.
I was also really looking forward to this trip because it would be 6 nights, the longest I'd done in the BWCA previously was 3. We were to drive up there Wed, stay one night in a bunkhouse so we'd have a quick morning on Thursday, enter and stay the next 6 nights. Exit and maybe camp or hotel one night before the 5 hour drive back.
When Michael found out he didn't get the latest job he asked if we should even go. "I understand your concern. However, we've done all this prep. You can still do job search stuff Monday-Tuesday. We'll be gone Wed-Friday. Then we can come back so that you can return to your job search stuff Thursday-Friday next week, or even a day earlier if needed." I shared his concerns, however I also think he/we need nature and time active and outdoors.
We happily headed off early Wed afternoon, everything to my surprise fitting well and bounded northward. 120 miles into our journey the engine light started flashing and Michael pulled over on the highway. The temperature was normal, everything was running normal, but he called the nearest Hyundai dealer and they said to not drive it and to get towed to them. This meant waiting on the side of the highway for at least an hour, she didn't know how much the tow would cost. It was already 4pm and the service people were gone for the day so they couldn't look at it until tomorrow. What to do?
We looked for somewhere closer, even if not Hyundai, the first place we called only worked on trucks. Then from the backseat, Michael's eldest named a place 5 miles away. We called and asked if he could look at a 2013 Hyundai, he said, "Yes". We asked if it was safe to drive there. He said, "Yes."
We slowly did, at this point the car was not normal anymore. We pulled into a junkyard/repair shop in the middle of the country and the guy came out with his little computer. It took a while to figure out what was wrong, but it seemed to be the third cylinder - major engine repair. He said he could tow us to Duluth for $225 dollars and maybe we could get a loaner vehicle while they repaired ours. We deliberated for quite a while but there were too many variables. How much would this cost? We'd need a vehicle that could carry canoes and all our gear. How much would that cost? Where would stay tonight? How would we get there? Where would we put our stuff? Our entry permit was for the next day and if we missed our entry date we couldn't go in anyway.
"How much would it cost to tow us home?" we asked.
"$525."
"Can all five of us fit in the tow truck?"
"It will be tight?" he replied.
"Are there seatbelts?" I asked.
"Tow trucks are exempt," he stated.
Then, maybe because of my looks/hesitation, he offered to start up a beater he had there that we could drive back and then he'd tow back again.
So nine hours after we left on our adventure we were home and exhausted. The car at the repair shop and our gear back in the basement. The one positive thing that we are crossing our fingers upon is that Michael found the warranty in his glove compartment that he thought had expired, had in fact not. So I am anxiously awaiting to hear if whatever is wrong with the vehicle is something that is covered by the warranty. They had the vehicle all day yesterday, but must have been busy because we did not hear anything from them.
So this doesn't really qualify as a gratitude blog, but this is my day to post and I really needed to spend some time processing all this. Writing helps me with that.
Michael jumped right into unpacking to prevent depression, but I find unpacking depressing itself, undoing all the time and effort and intention we had so carefully laid. Yesterday I didn't do a whole lot. I called a few friends for support and I went to bed early. Today, I started cleaning the bathroom and realized I needed to write.
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"When one door closes another always opens, but we usually look so long,
so intently and so sorrowfully upon the closed door that we do not see
the one that has opened." Johann P.F. Richter
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Update- one hour after I posted this I received an email subject line, "Engine is blown." Luckily the message proceeded to say, "Good news. It will be covered by Hyundai. It will be 3 - 8 weeks to get
it done but they will put us in a loaner till it's done."
