Sunday, October 6, 2013

Should be a Sign

#1 - 8:30pm I was putting away groceries and feeling a bit sad. I started feeling sad right around the time I left my friend’s house for the grocery store. I don’t know why. I’d had a lovely day. It just arrived, it just was. What to do with it? Then I remembered it was a gratitude blog post day and I felt a bit of relief, the possibility of expressing it/letting it out somehow. So here I sit with my sadness. What comes to mind is something Thich Nhat Hanh might say. “Hello sadness my friend. You are in good hands. I will take care of you.”

#2 – My day started with a bike ride to a nature center where I had my first meeting with Afton guy (see Afton article post a three weeks back). It was going to be a rainy day, but it wasn’t rainy yet and having someone to meet motivated me to get out on my bike. I was wet by the time I got home, but I wasn’t cold, it was fun.

#3 – Afton guy was pleasant. I didn’t have a strong sense of anything – interest nor disinterest, like nor dislike. Like his age, which I still couldn’t guess, I couldn’t sense whether we would enjoy more of each other or not, whether mutual interests would be engaging in the future or not. He certainly seemed like a decent human being and sometimes that is enough to be grateful for. He also had a nice voice.

#4 – Sometimes I wonder if opening is more painful than staying closed. What I mean is – possibility can point to places and things that are missing – point out a wound you didn’t know was there, a place you forgot was tender.

#5 – The poetry group is at the library tomorrow. I was thinking about waiting until next month to try it(when it will be cold) and doing something outside tomorrow evening. However I was at the library today, and I overheard the librarian who runs the group talking about his poems and how they help people to be in the “now”. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. That should be a sign…

1 comment:

  1. I don't know if opening is more painful than staying closed.

    I do know that opening is a possibility to pain or to being hurt.
    But staying closed is a guarantee for pain, a certainty. If not now, then in the long run.
    Because you hurt yourself.
    And those may be the deepest wounds to heal.