Sunday, December 23, 2012

When Patterns are Broken

#1 - You know the difference between sitting next to someone you are really comfortable with and someone you either aren’t or don’t know? How for example, if your bodies touch in the latter case you automatically pull away? I woke up from a series of dreams this morning, in two of which I was in public places next to a man I didn’t know and our bodies unintentionally touched. Neither of us pulled away and it felt natural and comfortable and beautiful.

#2 - In another one of the story lines I was going back to college for my fifth year. I wasn’t sure why I was going back, I thought I had finished but it was what I usually did and I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know what I was going to do there either though, and doubted if I should be paying for another semester.

I left this storyline completely for a while and went to the aforementioned dreams and more, but I returned to it in the last segment before I woke. I tried to figure out if my friends were back and two of my friends were, which was somewhat reassuring, but I still wasn’t sure what I would do there and if I should be enrolled. I went up to my new dorm room feeling uncertainty and anxiousness. My roommate was there talking to another friend and as I looked out the north facing window I could see the countryside framed by two brick buildings. In the setting sunlight they resembled rock formations in Utah. The scene was so beautiful I started to cry, both in my dream and in my real life.

#3 - This is how I woke up.

#4 - Dreams have made me cry before, but not because I saw something of beauty. When I got my hair cut recently there was a quote on the mirror in front of my chair that said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” Tuli Kupferberg

#5 - Taking the time to write this, which meant taking the time to acknowledge it.

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