Monday, December 31, 2012

Sunday, December 23, 2012

When Patterns are Broken

#1 - You know the difference between sitting next to someone you are really comfortable with and someone you either aren’t or don’t know? How for example, if your bodies touch in the latter case you automatically pull away? I woke up from a series of dreams this morning, in two of which I was in public places next to a man I didn’t know and our bodies unintentionally touched. Neither of us pulled away and it felt natural and comfortable and beautiful.

#2 - In another one of the story lines I was going back to college for my fifth year. I wasn’t sure why I was going back, I thought I had finished but it was what I usually did and I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know what I was going to do there either though, and doubted if I should be paying for another semester.

I left this storyline completely for a while and went to the aforementioned dreams and more, but I returned to it in the last segment before I woke. I tried to figure out if my friends were back and two of my friends were, which was somewhat reassuring, but I still wasn’t sure what I would do there and if I should be enrolled. I went up to my new dorm room feeling uncertainty and anxiousness. My roommate was there talking to another friend and as I looked out the north facing window I could see the countryside framed by two brick buildings. In the setting sunlight they resembled rock formations in Utah. The scene was so beautiful I started to cry, both in my dream and in my real life.

#3 - This is how I woke up.

#4 - Dreams have made me cry before, but not because I saw something of beauty. When I got my hair cut recently there was a quote on the mirror in front of my chair that said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” Tuli Kupferberg

#5 - Taking the time to write this, which meant taking the time to acknowledge it.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Base of Something

#1 - Despite raining much of the day we still have a base layer of snow, well maybe ice, but it's something.

#2- There was a man creeping me out at the store today and I totally trusted my gut on this.

#3 - I sewed or darned?(nope I just looked it up, I maybe should have darned but I don't have yarn so I sewed) holes in three sweaters today.

#4 - I had a can of sardines that I bought when on sale at some point (not something I usually buy.) I pulled it out tonight and the package suggested using it in your cheese melt. So I put it on some pizza dough crust with cheese in the toaster oven and it was quite a yummi dinner.

#5 - I really didn't feel like turning on the computer to write these and I could only think of gratitude #1 before I sat down, but now I think - of course trusting myself, and mending something and my dinner are things to be grateful for.

Friday, December 7, 2012

This is My Way

#1 - Thinking to myself, "I love children," as I helped a child shop for holiday gifts for her family. I was volunteering at an event where kids buy an inexpensive ticket that allows them to shop for five family members for the holidays. I was reminded today how multi-layered we all are. I always test on the introverted end of Meyers Briggs, but that does not account for how I act around children, and it's fun to feel my more extroverted side come to light.

#2 - Once we got the tables all set up the donated gifts looked beautiful. It is a very fulfilling volunteer experience even for someone who neither likes shopping or the consumerism of the holidays.

#3 - The gift sale is a complex coordination event and the woman who is in charge handles it with grace and ease.

#4 - Coming home to a yummi pasta dish prepared by my sister-in-law and specifically trying to pick out the broccoli pieces into my bowl because they were my favorite part.

#5 - Wednesday evening I played my brand new song for a friend. He said I should record it. I shook off the suggestion.

Less than 24 hours later I had the impulse to record this video for my gratitude blog.

I saw a bumper sticker that said, "If you don't ever change your mind how can you be sure you have one?" video debut

Bonus - this means I've fulfilled "Do something every day that scares you," two days in a row, yesterday recording this, today posting it.