Saturday, June 8, 2013

I Would Be Happier If...

I biked from my campsite to the beach for my first 2013 swim.

No one was in the water. I went for a walk, laid on the grass, probably took a nap. There were many people around enjoying the beautiful day. However no one was swimming. Eventually I sat on a bench right next to the water. I imagined biking back to the campsite with and without going into the water, and I knew I'd be happier if I went in. I had a warm change of clothes with me...but I also knew I would be a spectacle. No one else was in a swimsuit. I was wearing pants and a sweatshirt myself.

Then Maddie arrived. Actually Maddie her parents and two younger sisters arrived. Her parents fully clothed but Maddie and her sisters were wearing swimsuits and Maddie (the oldest - maybe 11) headed straight for the water. I walked up to her family and said, "I've been sitting here for a couple hours waiting for inspiration to get in the water. Thanks!"

#2 - I didn't actually swim. However, I did dive in and fully submerge myself three times. It felt refreshing and I wasn't cold at all afterwards.

#3 - I was thinking afterwards that it is probably even more important what we say to ourselves than what we do. "What was going through my head in this process?" Was I beating myself up for not following through on something I knew I wanted to do? Was I trying to force myself to get in the water? In the past I know I would have been harsher - trying to tell myself it didn't matter what people thought etc. just get in the water! Today, it was much quieter, I mostly just waited, knowing I wanted to get in, but not sure if I would. And then when the time was right, I did.

#4 - Two couples at the beach were playing catch with a football - the women trying to throw to each other, the men trying to intercept and vice versa. They looked so healthy and content. I smiled just watching them.

#5 - Listening to the three couples at the campsite next to me play a guessing game (that I can't remember what it is called - not Pictionary, not charades) where you try to get your team to say a word by describing it without saying it. Anyway, they sounded like they were having fun in general, and I especially enjoyed when a woman was saying, "Girls are having a sleepover" and the first thing a guy guessed was "pillow fight". It wasn't the right answer.

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