Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Just Love Me

Don’t question, don’t wonder, don’t ask.
Just hold me.
Don’t listen, don’t comment, don’t
turn away.
Just build me a castle, a title, a moment of praise.
Singing to the morning, I come upon my reflection in the window. It is dark. It is bent. It is bound to silence. The birch tree waves. The cardinal, the highway, the cool fall air -
become a part of the particles I will carry. Yet this stopping, this gaze, this morning symphony, will not take me away from myself – even as it calls me more fully to this world, even as it asks me, “Why are you here?”

#1 - I've been immersed in poetry recently.  This morning I wrote a poem before getting out bed.  The first line is from my friend Chris.  The ending is clearly influenced by Mary Oliver.

#2 - I'm going to see a genetic counselor soon.  It was suggested at a physical a couple years ago.  It took time and learning that genetic counseling does not equal genetic testing before I finally made an appointment.  I was proud of myself, but then it started weighing on me again.  First bugging my regular clinic for a referral, then filling out all the health history and today finally calling/figuring out how to get my health records released from some biopsies I've had in the past.  I've dragged my feet on all three of these steps.  I finally did the last one today (as soon as I put the envelope in the mail).  I do not have a fax machine which is how it says to be sent.  I find navigating our health system to be exhausting.

#3 -Simple Vegetarian Pleasures by Jeanne Lemlin - the recipes I've made actually have been both simple and pleasurable.  I can't renew it anymore.  But I'll probably check it out again.

#4 - A while back someone came to the market in search of green tomatoes.  She couldn't find any (we just had red).  I think that planted the seed for the recipe of Lemlin's I tried today - a fried green tomato sandwich with basil, smoked cheese, mayonnaise and bread.

#5 - I did burpees in an exercise class today.  I detest burpees.  However for once I managed, at some point to shift out of inner refusal to acceptance.

I've fallen in love with SE Minnesota the past few years.  I'm going to post pictures from my camping trip at White Water State Park last weekend. 

Both NE MN (the Boundary Waters area) and SE MN (the bluffs) are threatened with mining.  NE for copper nickel and the SE for fracking sand.  So it goes -

not enough
not enough
not enough

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