Friday, July 7, 2017

Water Fight

#1 - The completely unexpected and vibrant burst of laughter that erupted from my father based on the look my niece gave when she pulled the Old Maid from my cards.  I was not in a good space, but my father laughs so rarely that the sheer joy of it pulled me back into myself.

#2 - My niece and I had a water fight in the backyard.  It was super fun and my new practical swim top and shorts  were perfect for the activity.  She had the hose and I scooped buckets out of a little pool.  That open abandon was such a gift - I haven't had a water fight in years/decades.

#3 - Then I got to have some alone time talking with my sister in law about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy - a book I was reading on recommendation from my couples counselor.  I was telling her about the Four Horseman which John Gottman found he could use to predict which marriages would succeed or fail.  The four Horsemen are:  Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.

#4 - Seeing how I was withdrawing (stonewalling) last night and how this led to a downward spiral and coming up with an idea to try in the future.  I don't think I can or should talk when I'm in that space.  But it may help if conversation ceases and I was simply touched.

#5 - I received a phone call from a guy tonight who was open and receptive to that previous idea.  And the love that was missing from his voice when we parted last night, had returned.

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