#1 - "Damn!" my freshman roommate from college has some serious arm and shoulder muscles. I was a bit in awe during her 5:30AM body pump class today.
#2 - She has four kids, and works, and teaches fitness, and is back in school...
I was happy, or maybe a bit relieved, to see her get a bit frustrated with one of her children on the way out the door this morning.
I'm trying to figure out why I'm grateful for this? I guess because it is relatable. I can't relate to all those hats she juggles in her life, and am a bit in awe of it in fact, so it is good to know that everything isn't always juggled perfectly.
#3 - Even though it was a quick - 16 hour - visit, I told my friend it was fun to see a snapshot of her life. She said it was fun to share it.
#4 - I used to always listen to music while I cleaned the yoga studio, more recently I mostly work in silence. Yesterday, I started memorizing a poem on a hike. I don't know if I've memorized a poem all year and it felt so good to give my mind something productive to stew over. I realized that while I'm cleaning later today would be a perfect time to work on that. I'd like to have it finished up for my monthly poetry group this week.
#5 - I thought that I was going to either miss poetry this month, or miss the first game in my new Wed eve soccer session. However the game time will work perfectly to attend after poetry is done.
Friday, October 27, 2017
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Raspberry Leaf Tea
#1 - One of the reasons I had surgery last fall was because of my heavy menstrual bleeding - it had always been heavy but in the last couple years it had begun interfering with my life. On the heaviest night I couldn't even sleep through the night without it becoming an issue. So after my surgery I looked forward to this changing. One month after I didn't notice a difference, two, three, four, five...I asked my doctor about it and she suggested another ultrasound. My insurance was about to change and I wasn't sure that clinic was covered anymore so I put it off and she didn't push it. Nine cycles after my surgery - other things had improved, but this was the same.
In July I saw a more holistic health person I see on occasion. I mentioned it to her and she told me to start drinking raspberry leaf tea. I was resistant. I'm not a big tea drinker and she was asking me to commit to this everyday, long-term. I put up a fuss, but she said it was really important. So I began. One month later my period was still heavy but suddenly manageable. Two months later, the same. I'm currently on my 3rd cycle since I started drinking raspberry leaf tea and it is simply miraculous. I don't get up during the night at all and it isn't a problem. I am amazed and sold.
#2 - I sent a friend an option to try (Emotional Freedom Technique - Tapping) for some physical pain she is going through. It might not help, but it's free and non-invasive and worth a try and she is open to it, and for that, I am grateful.
#3 - My mind was racing a bit this AM. When I went outside to pick a few raspberries for my breakfast, I discovered how warm/beautiful it was so I did a few sun salutations with the fall leaves and the rising sun.
#4 - I wanted to make something that involved "kitchen twine" and not only does the guy I'm dating know what it is - he has some.
#5 - Warm Skillet Salad with Roasted Apples and Sweet Potato - my dinner - a recipe from Oprah's magazine
In July I saw a more holistic health person I see on occasion. I mentioned it to her and she told me to start drinking raspberry leaf tea. I was resistant. I'm not a big tea drinker and she was asking me to commit to this everyday, long-term. I put up a fuss, but she said it was really important. So I began. One month later my period was still heavy but suddenly manageable. Two months later, the same. I'm currently on my 3rd cycle since I started drinking raspberry leaf tea and it is simply miraculous. I don't get up during the night at all and it isn't a problem. I am amazed and sold.
#2 - I sent a friend an option to try (Emotional Freedom Technique - Tapping) for some physical pain she is going through. It might not help, but it's free and non-invasive and worth a try and she is open to it, and for that, I am grateful.
#3 - My mind was racing a bit this AM. When I went outside to pick a few raspberries for my breakfast, I discovered how warm/beautiful it was so I did a few sun salutations with the fall leaves and the rising sun.
#4 - I wanted to make something that involved "kitchen twine" and not only does the guy I'm dating know what it is - he has some.
#5 - Warm Skillet Salad with Roasted Apples and Sweet Potato - my dinner - a recipe from Oprah's magazine
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Kindness
#1 - Having plentiful raspberries for breakfast, which I remembered to go out and pick last night, as it is now too dark when I eat breakfast to get them then.
#2 - I was reading one of Brene Brown's books when the guy I'm dating and I had our first real conflict. The passage I read that day was super helpful in opening my heart and asking me to soften. Last night I read an excerpt from Brene's newest book - Braving the Wilderness - The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone to that same man and this morning he emailed me an email from a year ago that he had a new perspective on because of Brown's words.
#3 - Kindness is the theme this month where I do yoga. I just emailed the owner my favorite poem on the topic by Naomi Shihab Nye
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2007/07/23#
It's a poem I've always liked, but this year especially is meaningful to me.
#4 - We did a new move in barre class today. We started on our backs, lifted our feet up on the barre and then pushed up, so just our upper back and head were on the ground. Then we did "lifts."
It was tough in a really good way.
#5 - I love that I don't have any lights on as I type this and so my eyes are drawn outside to the sky and the changing colors in the sunset there - as they were drawn to the unusual plethora of birds that made an appearance as I ate lunch - robins, chickadees, nuthatches, hairy woodpecker, blue jay, red bellied woodpecker, sparrow...
#2 - I was reading one of Brene Brown's books when the guy I'm dating and I had our first real conflict. The passage I read that day was super helpful in opening my heart and asking me to soften. Last night I read an excerpt from Brene's newest book - Braving the Wilderness - The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone to that same man and this morning he emailed me an email from a year ago that he had a new perspective on because of Brown's words.
#3 - Kindness is the theme this month where I do yoga. I just emailed the owner my favorite poem on the topic by Naomi Shihab Nye
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2007/07/23#
It's a poem I've always liked, but this year especially is meaningful to me.
#4 - We did a new move in barre class today. We started on our backs, lifted our feet up on the barre and then pushed up, so just our upper back and head were on the ground. Then we did "lifts."
It was tough in a really good way.
#5 - I love that I don't have any lights on as I type this and so my eyes are drawn outside to the sky and the changing colors in the sunset there - as they were drawn to the unusual plethora of birds that made an appearance as I ate lunch - robins, chickadees, nuthatches, hairy woodpecker, blue jay, red bellied woodpecker, sparrow...
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Monday, October 2, 2017
I Would Rather Feel It All
A while back listening to the radio in the car, there was a song I wasn't paying much attention to, and then suddenly I was riveted. I wrote down the group and looked it up to listen. Today I needed that song again, and apparently YouTube knew it because I haven't seen it in my suggested videos for a long time, but there it was.
I was struck again this weekend by the fact that in the same 24 hours both my life and a friend of mine's life shifted drastically. Really what is the likelihood of that?
Sometimes I just can't believe in the randomness of life.
I emailed my friend, he has been writing about his trajectory shift, to tell him I am ready for my next installment if he has one ready. He sent it to me. It is such a gift to have it to read during lunch and dinner today. It reminds me of Glennon's quote -
“When her pain is fresh and new, let her have it. Don't try to take it away. Forgive yourself for not having that power. Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They're sacred. they are part of each person's journey. All we can do is offer relief from this fear: I am all alone. That's the one fear you can alleviate.”
― Glennon Doyle Melton, Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
Sometimes I just know things - like this upcoming weekend I have a bunch of plans/ideas, but I couldn't solidify them. I can get frustrated by this, even though I've observed again and again when this happens, it is because there is a piece of information or a change of plans that I am not aware of yet.
So I wasn't at all surprised to get an email this AM which will/would change my plans. "I KNEW IT!" without possibly knowing.
How can we, can I be clued in to so many things but miss so many others?
To conclude, and continue on the lack of randomness theme - something I've thought and talked about quite a bit this past year is men and men's groups and men's support. I watched the excellent film "The Mask You Live In" and I have "The Mask of Masculinity : How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives" by Lewis Howes on request from the library. And today I checked Jason Mraz's instagram to see what he's up to and he recently went on a backpacking trip with a men's group.
"Evryman is a community of men who come together to challenge and support one another in their personal growth."
I was struck again this weekend by the fact that in the same 24 hours both my life and a friend of mine's life shifted drastically. Really what is the likelihood of that?
Sometimes I just can't believe in the randomness of life.
I emailed my friend, he has been writing about his trajectory shift, to tell him I am ready for my next installment if he has one ready. He sent it to me. It is such a gift to have it to read during lunch and dinner today. It reminds me of Glennon's quote -
“When her pain is fresh and new, let her have it. Don't try to take it away. Forgive yourself for not having that power. Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They're sacred. they are part of each person's journey. All we can do is offer relief from this fear: I am all alone. That's the one fear you can alleviate.”
― Glennon Doyle Melton, Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
Sometimes I just know things - like this upcoming weekend I have a bunch of plans/ideas, but I couldn't solidify them. I can get frustrated by this, even though I've observed again and again when this happens, it is because there is a piece of information or a change of plans that I am not aware of yet.
So I wasn't at all surprised to get an email this AM which will/would change my plans. "I KNEW IT!" without possibly knowing.
How can we, can I be clued in to so many things but miss so many others?
To conclude, and continue on the lack of randomness theme - something I've thought and talked about quite a bit this past year is men and men's groups and men's support. I watched the excellent film "The Mask You Live In" and I have "The Mask of Masculinity : How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives" by Lewis Howes on request from the library. And today I checked Jason Mraz's instagram to see what he's up to and he recently went on a backpacking trip with a men's group.
"Evryman is a community of men who come together to challenge and support one another in their personal growth."
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Judge C. R.
#2 - Waking up after a good, long, peaceful night's sleep in a tent. I had a couple panic attacks while camping last summer. The first at night in the tent during a thunderstorm, the second at night in the tent when the wind blew (but no storm came). So this year I've been on edge about camping and reminding my body that it loves it, not to fear it. This weekend there were storms forecast during camping, which happened Friday night. Thankfully they never got too close or intense, but I still had a hard time for a while. Last night, storms were also a possibility, but they didn't come and I was so happy to fall asleep easily, and sleep peacefully the entire night.
#3 - I passed our extra kindling on to a family camping beside us before we left. Occasionally someone will be surprised that I camp alone (sometimes), I always find the only people who express such fears to me are people who don't camp. Here are the encounters we had with other people at our campground.
First, one of my friends ran into a family she is really close to. We were over 4 hours from home and here at the same campground, without her knowledge, are people she loves and trusts. Then the people at the site next to ours, without a word between us, gave us some kindling, they said it was hard to get the logs started for a fire. Then while we were at the first someone with a headlamp approached our site to ask if we had any salt or pepper. Nope.
#4 - When we were getting ready to leave the campsite I motioned my friends over and initiated a group hug and a thank you to the trees, the earth and the sky.
#5 - On the drive home one of my friends made a comment about me. Soon after I realized it hurt my feelings. I became curious about my reaction. Yep this is what I do, I stuff it. I know it wasn't a big deal or intentional so I just act as if nothing happens even though, inside, I'm in pain. Hmm. Then I started feeling down on myself for reacting that way. "What can I do differently?" I decided to wait until we stopped as I was sitting in front and she in back. Then I put my arm around her and said, "I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but when you said...I felt hurt."
And then it was gone. It was that simple.
I don't think I would have ever done that if I hadn't been doing all the work I have been with the guy I'm dating. And the remarkable thing was I no longer had to carry it with me. It was gone.
And later my friend said she hadn't meant to be hurtful, which I knew, which is why I didn't want to say anything. Well that and admitting your hurt is a vulnerable thing, especially if it seems small and like you, "shouldn't be" or are "too sensitive".
As Brene Brown says, "Vulnerability is courage."
Saturday, September 16, 2017
Market and Soccer
#1 - Last Sunday I had the best several hours I've had in many months. I finally had the emotional well-being, time alone and space to take a "date" with myself - to follow my joy, to turn deep within. The next morning, I woke up a half an hour before my alarm morning and read more, played a little guitar and started the work week in such an energized space. However somehow a day or two later things shifted, plans led to frustration and I started waking up early feeling anxious instead of energized. Each day earlier - one day 5:30AM, then 5:00 AM, yesterday I woke up at 4:15AM after a bad dream and today 3 something (though I did go back to sleep). Today, it was good to go from that to the farmers' market, to spend the day outside with people, and asking children if they wanted to spit watermelong seeds.
#2 - Despite the lightning, rain and wind during market set-up, the weather calmed by opening time and people were able to participate in the watermelon seed spitting contest. And even better, my favorite watermelon seed spitting assistants arrived to help out.
#3 - Watching the assertive energy of my niece as she ran up and down the soccer field, the first time I've seen her play a game.
#4 - Also witnessing her skill and ease in social interactions - something I never had. I appreciate how naturally it comes to her.
#5 -
P.S. I listened to this podcast on Wednesday, and I can't help but share it. I LOVE Brene Brown and Lewis Howes! Here is the link to the podcast.
https://lewishowes.com/podcast/r-brene-brown-create-true-belonging-and-heal-the-world/
"There's only two kinds of kids you raise. Kids who will ask for help when they need it, or kids who won't. And that's as good as it gets, is to raise a kid who will ask for help." Brene
"Yeah I never asked for help." Lewis, "I was always suffering inside, and I always felt shameful, guilty. My way of asking was being angry, resentful, mad, hitting people in sports, or outside of sports because that is all I knew."
#2 - Despite the lightning, rain and wind during market set-up, the weather calmed by opening time and people were able to participate in the watermelon seed spitting contest. And even better, my favorite watermelon seed spitting assistants arrived to help out.
#3 - Watching the assertive energy of my niece as she ran up and down the soccer field, the first time I've seen her play a game.
#4 - Also witnessing her skill and ease in social interactions - something I never had. I appreciate how naturally it comes to her.
#5 -
The Quiet Outside
The Quiet Inside
The Quiet Within
*****
P.S. I listened to this podcast on Wednesday, and I can't help but share it. I LOVE Brene Brown and Lewis Howes! Here is the link to the podcast.
“What’s your definition of greatness?” Lewis Howes
“To own your story and love yourself through that process
that is greatness to me.” Brene Brown
https://lewishowes.com/podcast/r-brene-brown-create-true-belonging-and-heal-the-world/
"There's only two kinds of kids you raise. Kids who will ask for help when they need it, or kids who won't. And that's as good as it gets, is to raise a kid who will ask for help." Brene
"Yeah I never asked for help." Lewis, "I was always suffering inside, and I always felt shameful, guilty. My way of asking was being angry, resentful, mad, hitting people in sports, or outside of sports because that is all I knew."
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