Sunday, December 4, 2016

Long Gone

#1 – Being able to stay awake until now, after not sleeping at all last night, in the hopes, the desperate hope, that I will sleep later. And getting some chamomile tea, which I looked up, to hopefully help.

#2 – My brother’s voice on the phone bringing the tears out that had been locked inside.

#3 – The food put in front of me by others that I forced myself to eat.

#4 – Going thus far today without taking any ibuprofen for the first time since my surgery last month.

#5 – The one thread of hope that I reached for last night, that I'd be able to get in and see the counselor who so helped the sweet man and I, has an opening for me. I’ve felt in the last 24 hours the doubt of what there is to live for, if you’ve lost what is the most precious gift in your life. I’m not sure right now, but I'm grateful there were moments today when I wasn't mired in that question. I'm still deeply in denial, so I know there is a freight train of pain, headed in my direction.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tammy,
    I don't know what happened, but I send you all my love.
    Hang in there, please.