I got on Dad's computer, not the internet, so grateful he didn't have a password to get in - unlike mine I realize - a hidden glimpse of closeness into his world that also distracted me/occupied my thoughts. I found a spreadsheet where he was charting his blood pressure Monday and Tuesday after taking the blood pressure meds - he was only directed to take 1/day but he took 3 Monday, 2 Tuesday and recorded the results.
I don't know, but the 4 of us went skating for Michael's eldest's activity today and played hockey in the sun and it was fun for a while.
And my brother acknowledged that he was being oppositional without me noticing on the phone. And when I thanked him - even though he wasn't supposed to - for finding Dad for me, he burst into a sob. I told him it was a good decision for the kids not to go with to Grandpa's (apparently they had wanted to).
And I'm getting in my head today - tasks less heart. I need to allow both. I need to allow.
P.S. The above is part of what I wrote in my journal Saturday, which should have been a blog post day, however the recent unexpected death of my father has led to me typing this up a bit later...I'll date it as if I did it then.
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