"I think what I'm so confused by is how much I have not noticed the changes - how natural they feel and sit within me. The woman who is here now living with her partner and half the time his 11 & 14 year old daughters.
I want to reach back and find the woman who would find this unfathomably possible..."
It was hard to find that woman though because it seems perfectly normal to me now. However as I left Roxanne, the instructor, said, "There is so much growth!" I'm not sure how long ago I started writing with Roxanne - probably 10 years - she's known me a while. She sees it.
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"What I really want to write is how he got up every day and tried. And how sometimes my presence was not helpful - it was fearful, it was critical, it was micromanaging, it was controlling."
But he kept getting up and trying.
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A woman was shuffling across the street in front of me and when she got to the big chunk of ice between the street and the sidewalk/curb, she turned to me and asked, "Could you help me?"
It made my day.
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I went to a middle school choir concert tonight and there were two songs I found so beautiful.
The Sun is Mine by Laura Hawley
The Sun is Mine
and the trees are mine
the light breeze is mine...
and
The Sun is Mine
and the trees are mine
the light breeze is mine...
and
Winter Song by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles
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I've been writing some gratitudes about my niece this year, and I was wondering if I put them in a card for her if she's old enough to appreciate them. Then I thought of saving them as a gift when she's a little older. Then I thought of just starting a little journal with just little notes and gratitudes about her (and another for my nephew) and the thought made me so happy.
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