Thich Nhat Hanh

 #1 - Reframing a sidewalk shoveling task to an excuse to get a little sun, outside time and movement.

#2 - Michael had a new look today, apparently he had a new pair of jeans and they looked good.

#3 - Michael's ex is incredibly responsive/quick to respond to questions in general - today in particular about possible camping dates this summer.

#4 - My "pain body" is active right now, I am aware of it, and able to articulate it, which means it has not taken me over. I am aware that I am bigger than my pain body and that the trigger (in this case chores/shoveling), is an area of growth and an opportunity of communication.  I am also aware it is ok just to be angry right now.

#5 - And how quickly that anger dissipates when I read this - an email from a member of my library poetry group

"In another development, Thich nhat hanh, a Vietnamese  Buddhist monk, the founder of Plum Village and the father of Mindful meditation left his body last week and I wanted to share with you an excerpt from his inspiring and spiritually elevating words. Please keep going and stay healthy and happy. Thank you so much. Guthema

I Am Not in Here

By Thich Nhat Hanh

"I have a disciple in Vietnam who wants to build a stupa for my ashes when I die. He and others want to put a plaque with the words, “Here lies my beloved teacher.” I told them not to waste the temple land.

“Do not put me in a small pot and put me in there” I said. “I don’t want to continue like that. It would be better to scatter the ashes outside to help the trees to grow.”

I suggested that, if they still insist on building a stupa, they have the plaque say, “I am not in here.” But in case people don’t get it, they could add a second plaque, “I am not out there either.” If still people don’t understand, then you can write on the third and last plaque, “I may be found in your way of breathing and walking.”

Excerpted from Thich Nhat Hanh “At Home in the World: Stories & Essential Teachings from a Monk’s Life” (2015)

 

 

More than a Player Short

 With the unexpected death a little over a week ago of a player on my team (not Co-Vid), and a couple other women out with Co-Vid close contacts, and another woman out from an injury/bruise...I was the only woman on our team today.

So we chose to forfeit (instead of playing 2 players short) and just scrimmage the other team, this meant we were still one player short but could have an extra guy on the field.  And then a couple players from the opposing team joined us.  I thought about telling the league we wouldn't be able to play today, but I'm glad I didn't because the point of this recreational league is just to have fun, which we did.

We also had a man who last played with us in 2017 rejoin the team. He is an incredibly good-natured human being and I was happy to have his presence there again.

Next session I thought we may have to skip because we just don't have enough women players right now.  One woman is able to play (I think) she just said she isn't working now so she would be a sub (and not pay).  I asked the team about including her anyway (letting her play for free) and multiple people enthusiastically said they'd cover her fee.

I'm about to go pick up my niece and nephew for a sleepover.  We plan to take advantage of my neighbor's diligence in clearing a patch of ice on the pond across the street and go ice skating.

I also printed out chords for a couple songs to try to sing together.  The songs my niece suggested (which I had never heard of) were Lilly was a Little Girl and The World's Smallest Violin.

A Player Short

 #1-3 - Michael and I have been having weekly money/planning talks (most weeks once in a while it gets skipped) since this summer, mostly to plan for and think about buying a home together. We seemed to have gotten mostly on the same page and even had an initial conversation with a lawyer about buying a home as an unmarried couple.  Then a couple weeks later Michael suggested maybe he should buy the home and I rent from him. 

Is it because his sun sign is a Gemini or he is a wave or...anyway we rode that swing for a while, kept talking and this morning he asked me, "Would you like to buy a home together?"

"Yes."

Besides being glad we are on the same page again, this is a bigger deal than you think. Sometimes Michael thinks he's asked things, especially important things, without ever directly saying so, so the directness was well appreciated.

The next step is getting an agreement. Today we worked on the draft email for the lawyer telling what we want in our cohabitation or co-ownership agreement.  

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 #4 - We experienced the sudden loss of a member of my soccer team this week. I found a poem to read during our game tomorrow and other teammates have shared other ways to honor her - wearing black and starting the game a player short...

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#5 - For Xmas I love to give experiences, this year as I was navigating Co-Vid being a hurdle with experiences I ended up giving Michael's daughters astrology readings with Caroline W. Casey.  20 Years or so I heard her speak at the Bioneers conference "a fertile hub of game-changing social and scientific innovators with breakthrough solutions for the world's most pressing environmental and social challenges."  I tried looking at a few astrology books in the following years and the only one that really resonated with me was hers. 

I just really love her philosophy, "Believe nothing, entertain possibilities!" It isn't fatalistic and she doesn't say we "struggle" with things, she would say something more like we "dance" with them.

Anyway the girls had their readings today.  The oldest enjoyed it and shared with us about it afterwards.  The youngest was more stoic, as is typical.

Upon reflection I realized I gave them self-knowledge for Christmas and that's about the best gift I can think of.

"Are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?" Mary Oliver

Last January I accidentally got half way thru the month and realized, partly because of a bunch of fresh snow, that I had exercised daily.  I wondered if I could continue for the entire month since I was already half way there.  I decided to try.  One day I gave up because I didn't want to make time for it that day and it would only be ego.  However, then I got together with 2 friends and because of Co-Vid we spent over an hour walking together outside in January. 

I ended up exercising every day last January.

At the end of the month I wanted to keep up a daily practice, a more sustainable one than daily exercise.  So I brainstormed a list of possibilities and began.

February - Notice the sunset - every day.  How many days does the sun rise and set and I pay zero attention?  In February the sun is setting right around dinnertime so it was really easy - between working and eating to glance at the sky.  I originally didn't choose sunrises because I thought I'd miss some, but I ended up catching at least a glimpse of both.  I enjoyed this practice immensely.  I thought I might carry it with me, looking at the sky more, and maybe I did for a while, but writing this in December the practice definitely wore off. 

March - Write for a least 10 minutes every day beyond my gratitudes.  I was taking an Online Writing and Meditation Class for the first chunk of the month, where we were supposed to do timed writings multiple times a week.  So this daily practice supported that, but definitely took a bit more effort.

April - National Poetry Month - Read a poem a day.  I made my way mostly thru a book of poem's my friend's mom gave me that sits by my bed.  I still haven't finished the book, so maybe I'll do the practice again at some point to finish.

May -  Walk around the pond across the street. It is less than a 5 minute walk, and something I easily take for granted/forget to appreciate.

June - Things were feeling stressful in my life and I did not have the energy for a daily practice. However I do have some essential oils that I enjoy, but hardly use.  I vowed to smell one, once a day. 

July - I was ready for a bit of a challenge. I still am intimidated by drawing so I thought I'd try to do a quick sketch, just a few minutes each day of something in front of me.  The idea was to just dive in, stop thinking and draw. I love how this practice gets you to really see - the window, a clock, the chair, the plant, the lamp, the fan, my bike, my hand, a guitar, a parked car, the couch, the dresser, a tree, a stool, a boat, the front of our home.  That last one I spent a little more time on.  I sat on the sidewalk across the street and took it on.  Our neighbor a couple houses down yelled something at me across the street. I wasn't sure he realized who I was and I had no idea what he'd said for a while, but then it dawned on me, "What's up Picasso?"

August - A few years ago when I went to Spain I started meditating 10 minutes a day, to really take in my trip.  I continued this practice when I got home for a few months.  But now I hardly ever meditate. In August I did again.  It was a good month to pick as we did some camping/traveling and that involves waiting and waiting is a good time for meditating.  Can you tell the difference?  Is there one?

September - Play at least one song on guitar a day.  I hadn't been playing at all, but Michael bought me a songbook at Storyhillfest so it was a great time to dive in again.

October - Write a daily gratitude to Michael.  Despite my focus on gratefulness, it can at times be difficult to be grateful to those we love and are around the most.  And this was a challenge at times this month.

November - Coming into November I still had a lot of enthusiasm for a daily practice. I picked writing a daily poem.  I thought I could pick up a poetry prompt book at the library or find one online.  It never happened, the library didn't seem to have any (how is that possible?) and I only thought about looking online when I was already in bed.  So I'd scribble down four lines that rhymed, or multiple days I'd forget at all.

I was going to say this one was an utter failure. But then when looking for poems by other people for my monthly library poetry group I stumbled across this one that I wrote on Thanksgiving.

No One is Missing

There is a day, a special day, with tables

and chairs

There is a host

There are guests

there is a fullness, a reciprocity, a knowing

there are places and conversations and lives

we have known so well

there is a table

there are chairs

and you sit among them

empty in form

strong in presence

aware of the statistics of life

 

No One is Missing at this table

though your absence is felt

all around

December - Because I'd felt November had been a failure, and I lost my momentum, I decided to keep December as simple as possible.  Before breakfast, open the door, step outside, and take one deep breath.

This was simple, but after a couple weeks (when I got my booster and didn't feel well) I forgot a couple days, then I forgot again when we went to a camper cabin for Xmas, then I forgot again when we got home.

So January - October were great practices and I thought, "Maybe I'll continue with a daily practice next year!"

After Nov/Dec - probably not.

 

The Little Pond

This grainy photo was taken from our bedroom window. We have a small flood prevention pond across the street.  Last year with Co-Vid some neighbors have gotten creative and on occasion I'd see some kids out there.  This year our next door neighbor spent hours clearing the ice on Thursday and again Monday.  And then another neighbor sent out a text to meet on the ice at 2pm today.  They had a little fire, music, beverages and cookies.  I had thought I should go over sometime to appreciate the effort our neighbor put into clearing the ice and it looked like the kids were skating pretty smoothly, so I headed over.

It was mostly the kids doing the skating, but eventually a few adults joined us. The guy who cleared off the ice was clearly a hockey player.  I think of hockey as an unappealing/brutal sport, but when I watch the skaters without the aggression I see such grace, that was on display today. 

One of the moms I know a little better than the others because Michael's daughters occasionally babysit for her kids.  I feel like when we talk at these little gatherings our conversations stem a bit beyond the superficial, as they did today, which I appreciate.

I really hardly know any of our neighbors, but overall I have the impression that they are a great group of people and I am so appreciative of that.

We may or may not be moving in the next year, and if we do, I know this pond will be one thing I miss, these neighbors another.