Hikes, Home Visits and Bathroom Access

 #1 - My last home visit was cancelled today because there are many health issues.  This I am not grateful for.  However it meant I could leave a bit earlier to meet my friend for a planned hike and not deal with as much traffic on a holiday weekend.  #2 - He suggested we walk on a trail that I had not been to before.  There isn't a lot of park area relatively nearby that I have not explored so this was a real treat.  #3 - It also is in an area that I know the mosquitos can/could be awful, but it is still early enough and windy enough that today's walk was entirely pleasant.

 #4 - The home visiting program I work for is a 2 year program.  One of the more challenging families I saw today and mentioned the second year, not sure they'd continue, and probably would feel a bit of relief if they decide not to. However today she said she intended to return and we had a good conversation.  Part of the reason that home is challenging is (I think) there is a fair amount of stress there and I have a hard time relaxing.  However, that also means they might need it more so it is a practice for me.

#5 - Organic cherries were on sale, the beginning of the best fruit season of the year!  One of the coops where I shop has installed a lock on the bathroom now so you need to get a code to use it.  It now has a sign, "This bathroom is only for customers."  I imagine there was quite a debate to implement this, and it is unfortunate that they deem it necessary, and I'm so fortunate to fit the "profile" of a customer and be given access.

My Current Soundtrack?

I wanted to listen to some music that I really felt deeply today. However the songs that have been lifeboats to me the past couple years, I still like them, but when I try to listen, they aren't resonating the same with me these days.

I need a new soundtrack.

I am in a new place. 

I started searching today. The search hopped around.  Then the search landed on Trevor Hall.

Trevor Hall - mindful breathing (feat. Thich Nhat Hanh) [Official Lyric Video]

This song led me to tears

I don't really know why.

But I see myself 25 years ago, I am working in the opening year of an inner city charter elementary school, and the only time I had to myself during the day was around 10 AM when I'd take my lunch into a large upstairs storage room of sorts.  And I would say to myself:

"Breathing in (and I breathed in) I calm body and mind

Breathing out (and I breathed out) I smile

Living in the present moment (I breathed in)

This is the only moment (I breathed out)" 

-Thich Nhat Hanh

I took these 2 breaths of stillness.

Those breaths didn't feel still. 

But I reached for what Thich Nhat Hanh was trying to teach me.

And I can see how those 2 breaths were seeds. 

And those 2 breaths are sprouting still.

**********************************

 And this is a refreshing perspective on Mother's Day nudged to me by Timothy Frantzich and now quoted by Wikipedia -

The "Appeal to womanhood throughout the world"^[1] (later known as "Mothers' Day Proclamation") by Julia Ward Howe was an appeal for women to unite for peace in the world. Written in 1870, Howe's "Appeal to womanhood" was a pacifist reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War. The appeal was tied to Howe's feminist conviction that women had a responsibility to shape their societies at the political level. 

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_Proclamation 

 

"Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We, women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country, to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

 Julia Ward Howe -1870

 

dear sister

 #1 - Having the flexibility to be available for a family member today, being able to make some phone calls and ask some questions together, and letting them know they aren't completely alone thru this.

#2 - Having a plan to meet a friend for a walk after work.  Both of us had some stressful energy, so I had us stop and quiet our energy at least a little, before we entered the woods.

#3- Continuing to learn more about this friend's life, we met 1 1/2 years ago so she is my "new" friend.  We connected initially when I learned her husband died a few years ago and I was fresh from a break up. Today she said if she were to date again she can't imagine meeting someone who didn't know anything about her life, that it would be much easier if it was someone from her past who reappeared (though she didn't have any possibilities). 

I've never had a thought like this so I found it intriguing.  In fact I'd probably think the opposite upon reflection.  I find zero appeal in meeting/dating someone who reappeared from an earlier stage of my life.

#4 - I really like the mix of alone time and people time I have in my life right now.  I get both thru my work and both thru my living situation/friends. I like having a lot of alone time.  And I have a nice quantity of connection time too. I would say it is probably the best ratio I've experienced.

#5 - A couple posts ago I mentioned a wonderful memoir I recently read Twin Cities: My Life as a Black Cop and Championship Coach which was remarkably engaging even with the large section on football!

Now I'm reading another captivating memoir dear sister: a memoir of secrets, survival and unbreakable bonds by Michelle Horton.  It is written by the sister of a woman who was imprisoned for killing her partner after he threatened to kill her in a murder/suicide and leave their children parentless.  This was not the first time. She had suffered for years under physical/psychological and sexual abuse that was well documented and continuing to escalate.  He told her she would not be believed, and our justice system told her he was right.

Earth Day

 

There is a line of bushes/trees on the edge of the property where I live.  Trash accumulates there, especially near the dumpsters.  Some of it is from the wind, some from the squirrels who take things out of the dumpster.  It is especially apparent in the spring when the snow melts and before the leaves come in.  It has bugged me for quite a while, so I decided to use Earth Day as motivation to work on it.  I told myself I'd go out and pick up trash for a half hour.  And ideally do the same tomorrow.

I ended up working for 1 1/2 hours and filled up 5 bags of trash plus some recycling.  

It was a very satisfying place to work, not only because I live here, but because an hour and a half was long enough to make a very substantial difference!

I also sent before and after photos to the management company to ask the board what usually happens here.  Is there ever a community clean up?  Do we ever hire people to pick up the trash that accumulates on the edge of the property?

I also feel much better about sending that email because I'm not just complaining.  I took action AND I'm asking what the plan is.

I ended going back inside and grabbing goggles because I was reaching into many bushes and there were a lot of twigs that could poke my eyes.

I also noticed I was kind of waiting for someone to come out to the dumpster and see what I was doing. Make a comment of some sort... No one came nor noticed, so I decided since I didn't post earlier this week.  (I had a visiting family member and didn't take the time to), I'd post today instead.

Twin Cities: My Life as a Black Cop and a Championship Coach

 #1 - My friend who broke a bone in her foot last summer did a tentative jog/walk with me and her foot did fine!

 #2 - And I got to hear about her recent trip to visit a mutual friend in North Carolina. I think it had been a couple weeks since I'd seen one of my friends, and I was just reminded that I love my alone time and I need that too.

#3 - I started reading Twin Cities: My Life as a Black Cop and a Championship Coach by Charles Adams.  It was brought to my attention by a friend of mine and is one of those books I picked up at the library today and am diving right into.

#4 - Speaking of the library. My cousin is living with me right now and doing real estate photography and it is taking hours for her to upload her photos.  We have looked into internet upgrade options, none of which were panning out. She tried a coffee shop which was about the same. Today, as a last resort, she stopped at the library and it seemed the upload speed there is MUCH higher.

#5 - Finally, trying to arrange plans with my former partner's children can feel defeating.  I know it isn't personal, however the follow thru is difficult.  His youngest did send me her la crosse schedule per my request.  However, she didn't reply to me as to which team she is on: Varsity, JV, B?  So I emailed her mom, who in general is super responsive. So though I hesitated to reach out to her, I wasn't surprised she responded right away and with additional info.

Women’s Unrealistic Expectations 😂

Not Sharing

#1 - One of the parents who is very consistent, but usually checks out and takes a break on the couch during our home visits, got down on the floor and played with us today.  This has never happened with me at this house!  It was a win on my part for not intervening when one child (there are 4) was complaining to me that another wasn't sharing.  I had the autistic kid on my lap and he was engaged and that was a win right there so I said, "Ask your mom," and when she persisted in complaining to me, "Ask your mom." And she did and mom joined us on the floor.

#2 - My aunt is visiting and I didn't sleep very well. I know she sometimes does dishes at 3AM when I'm at her place, however I didn't realize getting up at that time was common for her. Apparently she sometimes watches This Old House at that time.  I asked today if she always wakes then and she dismissed it.  That would drive me nuts, but I guess it doesn't bother her and she can usually sleep as late as she wants so it works for her.

#3 - I still got up for my early exercise class that I really want the fitness center to keep.  Previously the earliest class they offered was 8:30AM.  Now they have a once a week 6:30 class and usually I am the only guy there.  I want more people to come so they keep the time slot.  Today a guy named, "Bob" joined me.

#4 - I made a Latin Corn Soup and a vegetable pot pie on Sunday eve.  Both of which were available for easy leftovers for my aunt and I for lunch and dinner today.

#5 - I sat and watched the big snowflakes fall as I ate breakfast today.  Often I work while eating breakfast, but my aunt was still sleeping in the room where I work, so the snowflakes were a nice way to enjoy breakfast instead.