Grateful Decisions

 # 1 - I had a hard time falling asleep last night - going in and out of bed a few times.  After a couple hours I grabbed a book and went into the living room and read.  I had the string of holiday lights on and it was peaceful.  The only real problem was my thoughts, "I should be asleep," or "I am going to be tired tomorrow."  

The only problem was really my mind.

#2 - The book I was reading is The Best American Travel Writing 2018 edited by Cheryl Strayed.  I am enjoying the variety.  Last night's story took place in Canada, Prince Edward Island and was focused on foxes and the author's (then unknown) brain tumor.

#3 - I signed up yesterday to do an early morning yoga with the local studio on Zoom, so I still got up early and did something that felt good, once again enhanced by the string of holiday lights.

#4 - Seeing multiple neighbors clearing off the small pond across the street - for skating I assume?

#5 - Michael and I planned another Xmas holiday without extended family.  Last year the 4 of us went to a camper cabin at a state park because of Co-Vid.  This year some members of our extended family chose not to vaccinate, so we decided during the summer to just be the 2 of us (the girls will be with their mom), with the current Co-Vid situation I'm grateful for that decision.

Low Lights

Well I took advantage of the weird weather, and record high, and took a jog today -  and my knee is still holding up well.  It was foggy and warm and now the lightning has begun for this strange winter (but not winter-like) weather.

I felt a little light-headed late afternoon so after dinner I laid on the couch and Michael cleaned up the kitchen. He had also left the dining room light off while we ate which I appreciated.  I put up a string of holiday lights in the dining room, but usually he wants more light to eat.

Oh and this morning he came into the dining room and said, "I was about to pick a fight about the kitchen sink..." but then he had decided not to. The kitchen, especially in the morning, can be a room of stress/contention so it was nice to hear him recognize his annoyance at something, and then decide not to feed it.

We sat on the couch for a little bit after dinner, with just the string of holiday lights on in the dining room and the eerie quiet outside. I love low lighting in the evening - how it quiets everything - including the mind.

Booster

I got my Co-Vid booster yesterday and am a bit under the weather today. I've enjoyed a more low key day which includes working from the couch and watching the fresh snow out the front window on the trees and pond across the street. It's a gentle snow that muffles sounds and makes things feel peaceful.

I called my cousin when I needed a little rest/break and we talked about a fight she had recently with her sister (I'd already talked to her sister). She thought I took her sister's side. I thanked her for telling me that and reassured her that I loved her and that cared about her feelings. I think by the end of the conversation she understood that.

Oh and my knee which was really starting to concern me because it didn't seem to be getting better, took a turn for the better late last week. I hesitantly played soccer Sunday, fearful it might set the healing back, but it's two days later and it still seems ok.

Little Gratitudes

 #1  - I've been limiting my activity the past couple months because of my knee.  I seemed to have found a simple motion of laying on my back and flexing and extending the foot that seems to help, or it's just time, either way it is feeling better.

#2 - I woke up early today and wasn't falling back asleep, I thought it was the middle of the night still, but after not too long Michael's alarm went off.  

#3 - I have an outdoor walk scheduled with a friend tomorrow on an unseasonably warm last day of November.

#4 - Michael got his booster shot today.  

#5 - I marked a handful of items as "complete" for work today, getting them off the list.  And I don't really like watermelon, but I tried a Watermelon Wonder kombucha and I enjoyed it.  It had other flavors beside watermelon and I appreciated something different.

A Christmas Carol?

 #1 - My niece asked my brother about going to see A Christmas Carol (and out to eat before) at the Guthrie theater like we used to do with grandpa.  I started to cry when I read the message and was glad she wanted to continue a tradition of my dad's, even if I have no particular desire to see that play again.

She's not quite fully vaccinated though and many of the less expensive performances only have individual seating remaining.  So we might have to put it off, this really bummed me at first, but the Co-Vid numbers are quite high in Minnesota right now so it might be for the best to wait.  And since it's not something I really want to do every year, it will be ok to wait and at least still do it at some point.

#2 - I walked in the bathroom this AM and Michael said with a scowl, "I'm feeling frustrated," and I thought, "Oh god..." But then he told me what had frustrated him (how I'd haphazardly put the fans in the attic) and said, "Would you be willing to..."  He asked so kindly I immediately responded,

"Yes."

#3 - And he was happy to get an instant yes.

I was about to leave for a walk with a friend but I thought about it when I got groceries, how I wanted to take care of it as soon as I got home.  

And I did.

#4 - I skipped soccer again today because something is up with my knee, so I was grateful my friend was available to walk and get me outside.  There is/was a strong wind so it seemed unappealing, but having someone to walk with is motivating.

#5 - The fridge already seemed pretty full with a turkey thawing before I went grocery shopping, so I'm grateful the food actually fit (and that I am blessed enough to have this problem).

Ruts and Snowflakes

#1 - We went to the credit union for the 2nd time today to add my name to a joint bank account with Michael. The first time we returned home because we didn't have an appt. Today we returned home because they needed to do a credit check and I have security freezes to prevent identity theft. Sigh. Luckily we are not in a tight position time wise.

#2 -I've had some swelling in my knee so I walked while Michael jogged this AM. It was cloudy, but at one point there was this strip of clear light that felt captivating over the lake.

#3 - It's still a work in progress, but when I don't feel heard by Michael, I try to stop and mirror him/make sure he is feeling heard.  Most of the time, if I'm not feeling heard he isn't other, and it can prevent us from descending down a tunnel.

#4 -I am watching the first snowflakes fall and playing a little guitar with Storyhill to cleanse my energy. I can feel it caught on a rut and I need to move the dial.

#5 - My sister-in-law is back from her first solo trip to Japan in over 10 years (since having kids) and I look forward to hearing about it/possibly tomorrow.

The Clutter of the Mind

Almost anytime I listen to Tolle it is a gratitude for me, so this video in general is one. Specifically he spoke about a virus of sorts in thinking in the beginning of the video and some people losing the ability to engage in rational thought. 

 Also minutes 32:40-36 - where he speaks about kids growing up with the virtual world being more important to them than the physical world. So well said and my thoughts exactly. 

And then Rubin's response right after at 36:40. AMEN! "It's not just that we are being inundated with other people's thoughts, but that we are never giving ourselves the space, the moments where in the old days if you said, you were going to meet your friend at the restaurant, well if you went to the restaurant first and they weren't there, you might have to sit for a few moments. You might have to perhaps talk to somebody else, but you might have to just stand and look around and think and see people, where now we don't do that at all." Dave Rubin

Also I got a comic book of sorts from the library called Sex is a Funny Word, I knew I woudln't have time to read the whole thing to my niece and nephew, so I chose the chapter on touching. The book addresses it really well - lighthearted all kinds of touching. My niece and nephew thought the part with the smooching aunts that come to the child's birthday party was hilarious and asked me to read it a couple times.

In the part about unwanted touching my nephew told me there is a girl behind him in line that often pinches him but he's too shy to tell the teacher. One of the last words I would use to describe my nephew is shy so this really surprised me.

Then the book gets to "secret touching" and that if anyone ever tells you to keep touching a secret that is wrong and it is NOT your fault and to tell someone you trust. So we talked about people they could tell and this part seemed to go over the head of my nephew, but my niece seemed to soak it in.