#931 - I am reading Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. Stargirl is a high school student that is very much her own self. She is very aware of others (observes them, sends anonymous encouraging cards etc) but she does not care what people think about her. Her classmates at times applaud her and then later in the book shun her. The main, character, Leo, starts dating Stargirl and through this starts becoming shunned/ignored too. Leo starts to realize how important it is to him to be acknowledged by other people. He calls out to one student, whom he has never spoken to before, "Hello" is ignored and suddenly needs this stranger's acknowledgment/validation.
Yesterday my friend Laura was commenting about how some people can't understand how she has energy when she doesn't drink caffeine. I was thinking about this today, how I don't even notice this because I don't drink caffeine either (occasionally I drink tea or have a root beer). This made me think about how hard it can be to be the "only" person you know who does or does not do something (even if that something is as trivial as drinking coffee).
And then Stargirl got me to thinking about how strong the need in us is to be acknowledged/validated. That sometimes (consciously or unconsciously) we simply do things the same as other people because we feel acknowledged by it.
Anyway, the gratitude in here is for this Chain of Thought and for Forgetting I'm in a Minority without Caffeine.
#932 - Receiving Jed's letter with a CD of his songs
#933 - Sometimes I search a little for my gratitudes - the timing of this might seem a little weird. But I landed on this music today, so here is some Heart Food from The Brothers Frantzich
#934 - Which leads me to some writing I did last weekend. I was asked what were some of the musical pivotal points in my life - songs or musicians that changed me. Here is what I wrote -
I’ve thought about Ani DiFranco. I’ve thought about Paul and Tim. What I didn’t think, didn’t know, didn’t see, was the progression, the connection, the chain.
That 9 year old girl became a 23 year old woman working her second year – as a full-time volunteer. She was trying to save that world – or at least a few of the children in it.
“God help you if you are an ugly girl
Course too pretty is also your doom
Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
And God help you if you are a phoenix
and dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealous
while you’re just…flying past”
Ani was saying things, yelling things, singing things – inside of her that needed to come out. She was my bottle opener, my corkscrew, my doorway. Her songs could stand alone as poetry - and I could write.
“I am not a pretty girl,” Ani said.
I am a powerful woman with opinions, and talent and sass. And I want to be seen. I want to be noticed. I want to be recognized.
And then I am, eight years later, by Tim and Paul Frantzich, while I recite words and they sing songs and we together create a memorial service worthy of a mother who brought me - HERE.