Sunday, March 13, 2011

Acceptance

#1886 - Stopping at a friends' house unannounced because I had an extra hour between soccer and grocery shopping/the evening celtic service. I hesitated about stopping, but then was really glad I did. We had a good conversation and I got to see the remodeling project they've worked on the last 6 months which is beautiful and almost complete.

#1887 - When I received communion at the Celtic service tonight I made a point to look the person in the eye who gave me the blessing. When I returned to my seat, I decided to count how many people looked, even for a second, the person giving them a blessing in the eye, and how many people completely avoided eye contact. I was counting on my fingers, so I don't have exact statistics, but less then half of the people made eye contact. There are so many simple ways we could become more open to receiving.

#1888 - My friend Fletcher, kindly yet unhesitatingly, telling me I had more to communicate in a situation where I thought I'd done all I needed to.

#1889 - Having More Compassion towards Myself - In the past I would have considered this communication situation a "test." I would have told myself I "had to take" it, I had to be vulnerable, so I could pass the test and move on. Otherwise, I would just end up retaking the test in the future, so I might as well get it over with.

Ahhh! How exhausting! I don't feel that way at all now.

Now there are not tests, now there are options...now there are openings...

#1890 - Which reminds me of a poem I wrote more than a few years back. My poems are usually like light posts up ahead, not the way I currently live, but a guide to aim toward. Today for a moment, I caught up to this one.

Acceptance

Self acceptance just wandered in
like a gentle
yet relentless
wave

pounding

til I could resist
no more.


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